#everyone gather around for a prayer circle that i finish this and post it at some point

[justaz]

i feel like posting a short blurb from my wip bc i wrote it when i was just putting words to paper - not even writing, just getting ideas down - and i still find it hilarious

“Your impertinence is amusing when it’s aimed at my brother, but you will not prevail against me, Emrys,” Morgana hissed, her wild and unkempt hair sticking out around her head like a bed of snakes. Merlin’s eyes narrowed further as he pulled himself higher in his seat to properly look down at her, “Destiny has decided I will always be stronger than you, better than you. I will always be your doom. Just give in, witch.” Morgana stood, her chair scraping loudly as it sailed from behind her. She slammed her hands down on the Round Table, sending Lord Nimrod to the floor with the force of his flinch, “I deserve to be Court Sorceress.” Merlin stood much slower with an air of quiet power and grace. He crossed his arms and continued to stare down at her, “That’s nepotism.” “Bullshit!” Morgana turned her mad stare over to Arthur who was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes drooping with exhaustion.

[midnight-black2]

HIII IM SO GLAD YOURE BACK 🫶

prompt #8 with kai please 🙏 u can choose whether they're playing spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven

mwah thank you 😚

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄

pairing : kai (voyagers) x reader

synopsis : uhh what the req says

disclaimers : kissing, mentions of sex, pretty mild since it's just spin the bottle lol

note : sorry this took me like three days to post ! i finished it, and lowkey forgot to schedule it for posting like a dumbass bro. anyways, enjoy !

everyone had gathered in a circle, wearing excited grins and cheeky smirks. zach had told you all about a game named "spin the bottle," which was apparently common back on earth. it was a game that involved kissing, which was enough to persuade the entire crew to play. ever since everyone stopped taking the blue, the idea of any physical contact seemed heavenly.

zach placed an empty glass bottle in the middle, that he managed to snag from the cafeteria. everybody watched the boy move, awaiting his next action.

"the rules of this game are simple. you spin the bottle, and whoever it lands on, you have to kiss," zach explained, wearing a smirk as all eyes were on him. it was forbidden, and almost felt sinful to kiss another person, and that's exactly why everyone was so eager to play. it was now their chance to revolt. you, on the other hand, were simply in it for the ride. i mean, you'd be lying if you said the idea of kissing someone turned you off, because it certainly didn't. however, you weren't actively seeking for someone to make out with.

"now who's going first?" asked zach, looking around the circle. eyes flitted around the group, and only one was willing to volunteer.

"i will," kai stated confidently, as his mouth contorted into the same smirk zach wore. everyone turned to him, and he seemed to like the attention. without another word, he got up, and gave the bottle a forceful spin.

it was awhile until the bottle came to a stop, and you weren't paying much attention. you were picking at your nails, oh so confident that the bottle wouldn't land on you. but, when you felt many eyes burning into you, you had finally looked up.

and there everyone was, staring at you.

and there the bottle was, also staring at you. the tip was directly in front of you. there was no mistaking that it landed on you. when you had met eyes with kai, he had this complacent look. you sighed, because you were secretly praying that you wouldn't have to actually end up kissing anyone. unfortunately, your prayers were not heard.

although...there was a fortunate side to this. kai was an attractive man, it was just his attitude that made you want to slap the absolute shit out of him. and now, with everyone staring at you intently, you had finally gotten up. kai followed suit, and you two met in the middle of the circle. everyone was whispering amongst themselves, waiting for one of you to actually do something.

kai was unmoving, there was something holding him back, but his eyes flickered between yours and your lips. so that left you, and without another thought, you attached your lips to his. he kissed you back with a sort of fervor you couldn't miss. he let out a very very small noise, that nobody else but you heard. it was a high-pitched hum, which made you kiss him even harder.

your hand flew to the back of his head, forcing him closer to you, as his hands rested at either side of your face. almost subconsciously, you had slipped your tongue into his mouth, and he invited it. you could feel his smirk against your lips, but at that point you didn't even care. it was insatiable, and you hadn't noticed just how long you two had been at it until someone had cleared their throat in the circle.

you pulled away, and the both of you were breathless. it was awkward, but i suppose all things after everyone stopped taking the blue were. there was kissing, and hickeys, and even sex. it was so animalistic, and at the end of the day, you were all just teenagers. no one knew what they were really doing.

"surprised you guys didn't just fuck then and there," zach said, and everybody erupted into chuckles and soft laughter. you felt a twinge of embarrassment pool in the pit of your stomach, but you didn't let it show. as you went to sit back down, kai did the same. eventually, the night progressed, and it became less and less weird. the game was almost...entertaining.

the entire rest of the game, kai couldn't take his eyes off of you. he was checking you out, and not so subtly. god, this was exactly what you didn't need.

and it was then that you knew, your relations with kai would not end at just kissing...

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐤𝐲𝐚-𝐢𝐬-𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐥

𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐲? 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

𝐩𝐭.𝟐 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭? 🌚

[alreadyblondenow]

PROMise

Mark Lee x reader // FLUFF, SMUTT, 

Part of PROM SERIES: MARK LEE

Themes: high school! au, prom! au, strangers to lovers, college senior Mark, high school senior reader 

Word count: 5k

Summary: While enjoying the heavenly minutes of the game Seven Minutes of Heaven, he offered to be your prom date and you accepted it. The problem is, do you remember doing that? Will he keep his promise and go to prom with you?

Warnings: Older Mark, A LOT of alcohol, mentions of other idols, angel believer reader, swearing, accidental virginity loss but with consent, mentions of assault but I promise he didn’t do anything wrong :(, drunk sex, really drunk sex, fingering, rough sex, protected sex, unprotected sex, mentions of handjob and blowjob

A/N: I notice I don’t focus more on prom with the other two stories before this. But now here it is hehe, a week before prom. I focused more the preparations during prom, posting posters, getting the tickets, the dress, and getting ditched. :)) I also made this fic for the people who went to prom alone and just enjoyed the night without dates.

1 WEEK BEFORE PROM NIGHT

Finding what to wear to your cousin Seulgi’s party is taking you so long because you really don’t feel like going. You would rather feel the pain from your recent breakup, stress over organizing prom, and be sad because you might not attend it anyways. But instead of being miserable, you force yourself to look decent and head out.  

With no glow in your eyes or fun within your system, you made your way to your cousin’s surprisingly quiet house... A party without noise? You almost thought that you had your dates mixed but as soon as you knocked on their door Seulgi came bolting to you for a hug with a beer on her hand. “Where is everybody? Am I early or something?” you asked her, following her to the living room.

“No silly you’re late, the others are almost half drunk. What took you so long?”

Turns out it was just a small get together, eight people invited including you. All of them are on the carpeted floor playing cards, laughing, drinking hard liquor. They all seem so close and not familiar because they’re all your cousin’s college friends. “Okay quick roll call for Seulgi’s cousin please starting with me, hi I’m Johnny”

“Taeil”

“Irene”

“Wendy”

“Jungwoo”

“Mark”

Jungwoo motions you to the girls and proceeds to continue the game that they're playing. It’s obvious that he’s already drunk and that the only sober left is you and the Mark guy whom you noticed have been checking you out. Subtly.  

No matter how fun the game is, how much Jungwoo made you laugh, how many alcoholic beverages you’ve been drinking, you can still feel the sadness and brokenness that you’re so desperate to forget. It’s been three days since Jaemin broke up with you, but you still feel suffocated and choked because of what happened. As you drink the three shots of tequila Seulgi handed you, you begged to the high angels to please please please make you numb because you can’t take it anymore.  

“Mind if I join in? I feel like Johnny is about to puke on me any second, I’m just saving myself” Mark made his way next to you, sitting on the corner near you, and poured himself three shots of tequila. Even though you’re not in the right mind tonight, you didn’t miss how handsome he looked with those denim jeans, white shirt, sleeves rolled twice that exposes his arms perfectly.

Did the angels answer your prayers already?

The way Mark talk is like a drug to you and he’s like a magnet that makes you want to cling to him. He’s way older than you and way matured but he’s fun. Telling you stories that described him best, introducing himself in the most fun way while he hands you tequila shots. The next thing you know the bottle is almost empty because you and Mark enjoyed each other’s company, busy with your own little world in the corner of the Kang’s living room.

“How about you what’s your story? You look so lifeless when you came in earlier” he hands you another shot and you happily take it before you tell him what bothers you.

“Three days ago my boyfriend- I mean ex, uh broke up with me. Prom is on Saturday and uh- I’m the one organizing it. Thought maybe I’ll save myself and just not go” you pour yourself another drink to distract yourself from the slight pang in your heart that you felt just by talking about it with someone for the first time.

“I'm happy that the universe saved you from a jerk such as your ex, I think you’re going to do a great job organizing the prom and because of you, everyone will have a magical night. Do me a favor and save some of that magic for yourself” Everything that came out of his mouth is right. The angels did answer your prayers, they sent Mark Lee.

Finally, the alcohol is kicking in and you’re getting even more drunk and numb to each shot that Mark gives you. “I think everyone here is drunk already except you, Mark Lee” you don’t know but you’re way too close to him already while you two are still drinking.  

“We can handle our alcohol, besides we still have nine bottles to finish. See Johnny over there, all he has to do is puke. That’s his restart button, then he’s sober again”

It amazed you how partying with older people is different from the parties you’re used to attending. This party is small, but it’s still wild as a whole ass house party.

“Next game! Seven minutes of Heaven, Mark hand me that damn bottle you selfishly finished with y/n” Johnny gathered everyone in a circle and you feel like the effect of the tequila is kicking in so hard.

You thought it’s the normal Seven Minutes of Heaven game but it’s not. The game is simple. Finish the ten shots of tequila with your designated partner if you really want to get in that room. That way, the others will know it’s not against your will and all is safe.

“Were all adults here, okay. Two rules, finish the shot before going in and nothing comes out in that room. Do whatever you want. Slap each other, fight, kiss… fuck. Whatever. But you need to finish ten shots of tequila first before you enter the room”

It’s all fun and games until they started to admit what they actually do inside the room. Johnny and Seulgi admitted that they kissed, Wendy and Taeil kissed, and now you’re starting to get nervous because the bottle picked you. You don’t know who will go to that room with you but you seriously hope the bottle will point at Mark because he’s the only person you’re comfortable with.

“Okay. Mark and y/n. You’re up” Johnny hands the shots that you and Mark finished easily. Everyone saw the obvious sexual tension between the two of you and they secretly hope you two will have a great time.

The moment the door closes, Mark closed the lights and pushed you to the wall kissing your lips hungrily in the dark with want and lust which you gladly returned. Desperate to feel something other than the hurt that Jaemin planted in your heart. You grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to you. Tongues danced with each other’s mouths, hands explore everywhere they want.

Everything happened so fast and only your moans and Mark’s grunts are the sounds that surround the room, no one is talking because the clock is ticking. He lifts your skirt, put a little spit on his fingers, and slips his hand inside your panties to draw circles on your clit that felt oh so good.

“I can go to prom to with you if you want me to,” he said, in between kisses while his fingers are making you feel good. Too drunk to even think straight, you said “Yes please” with sharp gasps and delicious moans as you cum on his fingers but he didn’t stop until you’re overstimulated.

Enjoying the heat after your high, legs too weak but Mark is quick to catch you. “Sit your ass down cutie,” he says as he helps you sit on the floor and reached for the switch to the lights, and kissed you on the cheek. He looked at his watch to check how much time you guys have, four minutes. You smiled so weakly to him, still drunk from the alcohol and his kisses but at least you have a date for prom already.

You two talked so sweetly as you tell him more details for the prom. Mark has this duality that one second he can be a gentleman but also he can be so wild and irresistible. “Promise me you’ll go okay? I’m too drunk right now, I might not remember it but I doubt because you’re so charming” he chuckled and grabbed your hand to kiss your knuckles.

“I promise”

The next day, you found yourself sleeping on the couch with someone’s arm around you and recognized Mark’s denim pants and your dress on the carpeted floor together with the mess from last night’s events. You try to remember what happened but you really can’t. The last memory you had is eating Cheetos and that’s it.

As quickly as you can, you rolled from the couch and let yourself fall on the carpeted floor and be released from Mark’s warm embrace which woke him up. “Good morning cutie,” he said with a husky voice and cute smile that made your heart beat faster but you shrugged it off, gathered your clothes, and ignored him.

How can the angels let you lose your virginity in a couch with a stranger you barely knew. Tears started to form in the corner of your eye as you wear your clothes and try to remember what the fuck happened last night.  

Mark watch you wear your clothes in a hurry, sitting on the couch wearing only his black boxers briefs. He turned silent and disappointed because you can’t remember what happened last night and made him feel bad. “Do you want a ride home?”

“I was a virgin” you finally blurted out, tears falling as you wear your jacket and ready yourself to leave.

“I didn’t know” is all he can say and he watched you leave without saying anything else. Mark was worried because you might feel like he assaulted you but the truth is everything was okay last night. He even asked you at least three times if it’s really okay with you to have sex with him.

While you do some of your prom duties, your mind floats to the only memory you had from the other night. Mark’s words. Do me a favor and save some of that magic for yourself. Other than that you remember him holding your hand tightly and that’s it.

Losing your virginity is scheduled with Jaemin after prom but that cannot happen now because you two have already broken up and you’re not a virgin anymore. As you continue your work for prom contacting people, securing the program, and making sure that it will be unforgettable. Then you remember Mark’s words again. Good thing Seulgi is calling your phone and finally some distraction from everything.

“What happened?” she exclaimed without even saying hi or hello.

You chuckled low and flopped to your bed while you’re holding your phone, “Hi Seulgi”

“Mark made me call you, they all left just now. What happened? Talk to me, you were fine when I left you and Mark making out last night at the couch”

Funny how you didn’t know that happened, you don’t even remember how the kiss felt. “Oh, we were making out? I didn’t know”

“Fuck…” she sighs and lets out a sharp exhale, “Okay, you don’t remember anything from last night. He was worried you maybe thought he assaulted you or something. I know Mark, okay? He’s not a bad guy, though…. a little old for you but, I saw with my own eyes you were smiling last night”

Seulgi spent almost half an hour telling you what happened last night which you all don’t remember. She was so worried about you but honestly, you’re fine, “Okay. I get it. I don’t remember shit and we had sex okay, whatever. But we did it on the fucking couch Seulgi!” your cousin let out a laugh that made you chuckle and soon you laugh loudly too.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Honestly. As long as I don’t get pregnant or something” you’re both happy you made a joke and you sound like yourself again.

“Don’t worry, he told me you guys used a condom” what a relief you thought. Now you’re curious if the sex was great and clearly you can’t ask Seulgi that because she wouldn’t know.

What Seulgi said to you made your heart at ease, and indeed you don’t feel violated or anything it’s just bothering you that you can’t remember shit. At least he was honest about everything and he used Seulgi to check up on you. Until the end, Mark is still someone the angels sent for you.

MONDAY

After school on a Monday, you were so busy with prom and everything that you forgot that you go to the same school as your ex. You don’t know what sick game Jaemin is playing but he was looking at you deeply whenever you two cross paths.

“What’s up with your ex?” Lia asks you while you two put posters around school for prom this Saturday. “I heard he got a date for prom” she added, completely pissing you off but you don’t tell her.

“For all, I care Lia. For. All. I. Care” you said sternly and continue putting up posters.

“How about you? Who are you going with?”

Do me a favor and save some of that magic for yourself. You heard Mark’s voice again. “No one. You may not see me on prom night actually. Prom night screams ’Na Jaemin’ fucking asshole promised me a great night.” the truth finally came out, you do care about Jaemin’s prom date, your replacement. It makes you tear up whenever you remember how he broke your heart.

“What the fuck? But you made everything about prom happen! Without you, there’s literally no prom! You can go with us, your friends we will have a good time, we can make fun of his new date, who will I vote for Prom Queen now?” Lia frowned in front of you. She can be a bitch sometimes but she’s a great and loyal friend.

“I’ll let you know if I change my mind. But I’ll remove my name from the nominees for Prom Queen, I’m sure Jaemin will win as Prom King I can’t be near that jerk again. Like, ever”

WEDNESDAY

Every student is excited to get their tickets for prom night on Saturday and as part of this week’s preparation, the booth where the students can get their tickets is now open. It makes you happy to see your friends support you with this big event that you’re planning and it makes you, even more, happier to see them get their tickets with their dates on their side. Besides that, even though you’re not sure about your appearance for prom, random students kept on saying that they will vote for you as Prom Queen and they can’t wait to see your dress.

The dress. You haven’t picked it up yet from the tailor shop because you don’t want to see it. One glance of its perfection will clearly change your mind about not going to prom. And again, you blame Na Jaemin for ruining prom for you way before it commences.

You decided to get the dress after school and put it deep in your closet and never look at its perfection. But the dress has some kind of magnet and some voices are whispering behind your ear that pushes you to open it.

Fuck it.

With false bravery, you looked at your perfect prom dress and it did work its magic to you. You remember how Jaemin asked you to prom and it felt like he was asking you to marry him, it was a perfect night. You remember how you two practiced dancing when you’re finally crowned as Prom King and Queen. But you also remember how you caught him with some girl in his bed and it made you hate him again and zipped the fucking garment bag and put your prom dress deep in your closet.

FRIDAY

On the last day before prom night, you made sure you wore the perfect fake smile in front of everyone so no one would know what you’re actually dealing with. Entertaining every question they threw at you as if it’s not affecting you, may it be a question about Jaemin, your prom dress, your new date that doesn’t exist.

“People can be real assholes to you Y/n, I’m sorry that this is happening to you before prom” Lia comforts you before she goes to her nail appointment that you canceled going with her last minute because you don’t feel like pampering for something you’re not sure on doing.

“It’s okay. Enjoy the nail appointment, I have to do something last minute actually” that’s right, you overwork yourself so you won't get to think about prom tomorrow.

Before you leave for school, you made sure everything is perfect and in the right place for the big event tomorrow because who knows, maybe you really won't show up. Looking around the place for the last time, you smiled and patted yourself on the shoulder because you made a pretty great job of bringing this magical event to life.  

You went to the coffee shop near your house to do some thinking and soul searching before you go home and cry your heart out about prom. A bottle of Jack Daniel’s would be so perfect right now with the right company, but you figured getting shitfaced the night before prom is not the right thing to do so you pour your heart out on drinking as much hot chocolate as you can.

And on your third cup of hot chocolate, someone bravely sat in front of you and dared to ruin your grieving moment about prom. Wearing a black cap, a white oversized shirt, and black denim pants. You almost didn’t recognize him because of his round glasses that made him look so young.

The angels must be working pretty hard right now because they brought Mark Lee in your life again.

“Having a rough day?” he asks, looking in your eyes deeply.

“Yeah” you answered coldly.

“Ready for the prom tomorrow?” Mark knew all too well that you don’t remember the promise he made to you. But a promise is a promise.

“Can we talk about something else?” you’re aware of what you feel towards Mark. And it's obvious that you’re happy with his presence now just like that night at Seulgi’s where you two were finishing that bottle all by yourselves.

“How about we go somewhere else instead?” he boldly asks, you turned your head around seeing the sun go down already, looking at the time that you didn’t notice you’ve been in the cafe for almost four hours already. So you shook your head and told him you’re not sure.

“Trust me” he stood up from his seat and held out his hand for you to take. And just like that, he got you again. He brought you to the grocery store to buy every comfort food you like. From picking ready to eat watermelons in the fruits section, choosing chips, and buying the biggest ones and you’ve thought hard how did he know about your favorite ice cream flavor.

Trusting Mark has become something easy to do even though you still can’t remember how you two ended up having sex on the couch. As long as you feel safe around him while you eat a bag of chips while he drives, you’re good with him being beside you. And besides, Seulgi told you that he’s a good man.

After the grocery shopping with Mark that you think went great and fun at the same time, he then drove you somewhere quiet and peaceful, away from the high school drama that’s been suffocating you.

You watch him make a picnic set up on the grass under the deep blue sky with stars, using his jacket as the picnic blanket. He pats the space where you can sit comfortably beside him, putting all the food near the both of you. Just like that night at Seulgi’s, Mark made you forget everything that stresses you out because he made you laugh and smile with all his stories.

“Mark” you’re now looking at the sky, laying beside each other. He made you use his arm as a pillow so you won't get grass on your hair. Happy does not suffice the feeling that he gave you tonight because he made you feel more than happy.

“Hmm?”

“I remember asking my angels to please take away the pain that I’ve been feeling in my chest. And this may sound crazy but, I think they sent you”

“I know and I believe you because an angel told me” with all his bravery he put his other hand around your waist and pulled your closer to him. “I know because you told me” he nuzzles your hair, as he remembered how it smells exactly the same the night you two were having sex.

You returned his embrace and went closer to him, feeling that familiar warmth then suddenly you were having flashbacks from that fateful night. You remember he offered to take you to prom and he promised, “Oh now I get it!” you release yourself from his embrace and he has no idea why you’re suddenly feeling excited. “You’re here to tell me that you promised to go to prom with me”

He sat up too and face you, scratching head as he nods. “And,” he let out a sigh, “I’m also here to tell you that I have this job interview tomorrow and uh, I don’t want you to keep your hopes up. I think you should still go, let's have dinner I promise. Think of it as a private prom for you and me."

And once again, you feel like you’ve been rejected for prom. After making a magical prom happen for a lot of people, you surely can’t make yours happen. And you’re not even asking for too much, but it feels like the world is doing everything just to stop you from coming to prom.

Nonetheless, you thanked Mark for a wonderful night even though it ended bitterly. The last thing you want to do right now is going home disappointed even though a great guy took you out on a night picnic. He brought you home safe, a little late but it’s fine. “Hey, it’s okay. You made me happy tonight” you made sure to not make him feel bad just because he can’t fulfill his promise.

And to give him something to look forward to, you unbuckle your seatbelt and kissed him. Mark did the same thing and you feel him smile in between the sweet kisses that you’ll surely remember this time, “good luck on your interview okay?” you gave him another peck before you leave him “make me proud”

That night, you slept like a baby which you haven’t been doing for a while now. All thanks to Mark, you woke up on prom day happy and not sad. You don’t know how he convinced you to still go and hope that he could still make it, but he promised dinner. Think of it as a private prom for you and me. You remember his own words again you couldn’t wait for prom to be over. Is this what it feels like to date someone older? No drama like that shit Jaemin put you through.

Mark: Good morning angel, can’t wait to see you tonight. :)

As you get ready for prom, you made sure to let yourself feel that you’re winning today even though you’re not a candidate for being Prom Queen anymore. You bring that confidence back again and promised yourself that you will not flash a fake smile tonight and you will wear the smile Mark gave you.

You open the garment bag with a happy heart now, and you finally felt that excitement for prom again. It feels good to be wearing the perfect prom dress, not for someone who doesn’t appreciate you, but you wear it because it’s something you’ve been dreaming to do since you were just a freshman.

Mark: Hope you received the corsage I sent you. :)

You: Right on time, thank you. It's beautiful!!!

People will talk tonight because you went to prom without Jaemin on your side. Now that the word is out, and people finally knew about the truth, you couldn’t care less. As usual, you make sure that everything is perfect for tonight so your friends can have an unforgettable night.

Instead of sitting and waiting for prom to finally end, you danced and danced with your friends until you can’t feel your feet anymore. Singing to Taylor Swift songs with your other single friends while you watch the couples and the ones with dates dance and make it a special night.

And when the time finally came, Mark is waiting outside your school. Leaning on his car, wearing his suit and tie, he even bought himself a boutonniere to complete his prom attire.

“Sorry, I’m late cutie. Wow you look-“

“Like an angel?” you jumped to him and he twirls you effortlessly, making your dress flow perfectly.

“Yes like an angel, but I was going to say you look like you’re going to be fucked on the bed tonight” he whispered oh so sexily near your ear and kiss you on the cheek. He made sure Jaemin would see it.

During the car ride, you told him everything that happened during prom while his left hand is on the stirring wheel and his right hand is holding your hand. Reminding you that he’s here already and that he’s going to make this night memorable for you. He laughed at the story about the other kids putting alcohol on their drinks and you even told him that Lia was the one crowned Prom Queen instead of you and that she’s the one who suffered dancing with Jaemin in front of everyone.

“Don’t worry, you’re going to dance with me tonight. And you’re going to be my Prom Queen every day. You’re my Valentine's Queen, New Year’s Eve Queen, heck you’re my Thanksgiving Queen” you were laughing so hard while he showers your hand with kisses because he cant reach for your lips.

It was a simple dinner at a fancy hotel that you two enjoyed plenty because the food is good. It was pretty late already but the place was filled with adults who came to have dinner, business meetings, or gathering. “Can I have this dance?” he then offered his hand to take you once again in your own little world. Swaying to the live jazz playing in the background, slow dancing with him closely.

“Sucks that I’m too drunk to remember my first time” you tsked at him playfully smiling so sweetly to what you just said.

“Believe me the first time was awesome. You were so awesome that you made me cum at least three times” there he is again with that sexy voice you love hearing.

“I really did? Wow, I didn’t know I can do that” it surprised you truly.

“Yes, once using your hand, your mouth, and your pussy. You were completely in control that night that’s why I was so shocked the next day, I thought you were just as experienced as I am. So for tonight, please give me a chance?” he pouts so cutely in front of you and you nod your head yes, “But seriously though, I’m sorry you can’t remember what happened. At least it's still us tonight, right? Can you please not run away the next morning?”

“Yes. I promise” you sealed it with a kiss, still swaying with the music.

“Shall we?” he motions you towards the exit and went straight to the elevator.

Just like at Seulgi’s the moment the door closes, Mark’s lips crashed to yours but this time he’s careful and gentle. His lips made you remember what you guys did during the game of Seven Minutes in Heaven and it made you chuckle inside.

As you two lay naked and kissing on the bed, you feel Mark’s body on top of you, his perfectly sculpted abs press on your soft skin. He reached for one of your hands for you to grasp tightly while he prepares your cunt and plays with your slit before he fucks you. Now you remember why you had that memory of holding Mark’s hand tightly.

“Condoms or not?” he asks while kissing your neck deliciously making your hips roll on his hard cock.

“You’re the expert, what do you prefer?” you swing your arms around his neck, cupping his face and caressing his cheeks with your thumb. Admiring Mark’s handsomeness believing that this handsome man is yours.

“I prefer raw, but I figured this is actually your first time and maybe you’ll freak out after. Do you trust me enough to not use a condom?” it was a hard question and an important question.

“Condom is important, but I do trust you Mark” he smiled and nod his head, going back to kissing your neck while spreading your legs wider. You watch him line his cock to your entrance and you look into each other’s eyes while he thrust inside you slowly.

This isn’t your first time but it feels like it is, you feel so full and your breathing is getting faster as he rolls his hips deliciously, gliding his cock in and out of your pussy. You moan his name, “Mark” with an airy tone he oh so loved. Kissing your lips, catching every sound you make. Everything felt so slow and good as if the world just stopped the moment you two were having sex again.

“Want me to make you remember how intense our first time was?” his lips were on your cheek, spreading kissing on your face while he continues thrusting inside you.

“This is not how we fucked on that couch?” he shook his head ‘no’ and your eyes widened when his pace suddenly went faster than before.

“You were on top of me angel,” he said, “you were holding my hands tightly and keeping them away from touching you” he did the same thing, but the moment he put both of your hands above your head his lips went in between the valley of your boobs and he quickly licked and sucked your nipples. You can only whine. “Oh I’ve always wanted to do that to you, but you didn’t let me”

Flashbacks kept playing in your head of you fucking Mark so hard that night that you needed to cover his mouth while he was cumming. “Fuck, yeah I remember,” you said with heavy breaths, trying so hard to talk.

“You remember doing this to me, angel?”

Thrust.

Thrust.

Thrust.

You grunt so hard and you feel your boobs bounce as he gave you three hard piercing thrust, imitating what you did to him when you were the one on top last time. It made you smile and moan his name again and again. You were both smiling and chuckling while he roughs you up but little did you know he’s now preparing to make you remember him.

He pulled away from the kisses on your neck but the thrusts never stopped. His thumb brushes on your swollen lips, traveling down to your neck, tracing the valley between your boobs and cupping your boobs with both his hand. He fucked you hard while looking directly in your eyes, watching you moan and roll your eyes to the back until you cum and close your legs.

He pulls out his cock and went back to kissing you softly, whispering soft apologies but your pull him to an embrace while you’re still shivering and sensitive.

“Okay cutie, come down from your high first. I got you” he soothes your back while he watches you calm down and smile so sweetly with that afterglow. “You look beautiful”

“Can I ride you on the next round?” Mark’s eyes widened when he heard that you want a second round, he didn’t expect that at all but he was happy you’re having a great time with him.

The last memory you have of your prom night is Mark smiling weakly beneath you while you ride him good and this time, you remember every detail the moment you wake up in bed with Mark. Arms wrapped around each other, bodies covered with white hotel sheets, shivering because of the cold temperature.

“Good morning cutie” he whispered beside you and kissed your shoulder “You didn’t run away, I’m happy.”

MAIN MASTERLIST

Story Time 

I was suppose to attend my senior prom last minute just because i dont have a date, but my friends made sure I had a great time. 

And also, y’all prom is not only about dates, its a great night dress up with your friends and dance crazy with them while wearing a 300 dollar dress

[shirtlesssammy]

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Then:

Dean used his words to save the world once

Now:

At a food bank community center, three teens dole out food while stressing out about one attendant who’s breaking their cleanliness rules. Connor heads over to talk to the woman, but is stopped by the center’s pastor. The pastor challenges Connor’s motivation. ”We have rules, but we also have spirit too, right?” The pastor tells Connor to lead with compassion, so Connor brings the woman food instead of kicking her out of the building. 

Later, Connor walks home. Much like all other cold open walks, this one also involves a solitary alley. He hears someone calling his name. Trying to find the source of the voice, he trips and finds a talking teddy bear, and a metal hook around his neck.

Dean and Sam discuss research. Sam’s found a non-case, while Dean’s hit the jackpot in Atlantic City. Specifically, an unexplained blackout has him thinking that Amara’s enjoying her new gambling addiction on the East Coast. 

Cas pops up and thinks he should go with the brothers, but they tell him to stay put and babysit Jack. I say TFW is just better together, but I’m not writing this episode. Hrmph. The brothers are packed and ready to go, but Jack stops them in the war room to ask about the case Sam found.

Sam tells him it’s nothing. Dean encourages Cas and Jack to investigate --to keep Jack busy. Cas seems skeptical, but Dean insists.

Agents Swift and Lovato meet with the local law enforcement to learn more about the case. Sweet Jesus is it cute that Cas continues to use pop-star names. It’s cute that Jack takes after his father with the upside down badge. It’s cute that Jack recognizes the teddy bear and says he has one (Did Cas buy it for him? He has a history of buying stuffed animals for his quasi-children.) 

The sheriff tells them about the victim, and how the word ‘Liar’ was carved into him. 

Jack posits that this all seems demonic. 

Cut to Cas digging into the ground at a crossroads. Time to get some information. Cas buries a picture of himself that Dean took when he was wearing a cowboy hat (Don’t worry, Dean still has his copy, and keeps it safe…. for reasons.) and Jack sets up a social media account. He’s WAY under 13 years old, so he needs a parent’s permission. Cas grants it easily. (Also, ALSO!! ALSO, there are NOT too many cats on the internet. This writing is so OOC, smh.) 

A demon appears. 

He’s channeling his inner Crowley, and I suddenly miss the bugger for a moment. Zach, the demon, is very bored and desperately wants something to do. He’s not really British and tells the duo that no one's making demon deals right now. Rowena’s of the philosophy that “people will end up where they belong.” Cas realizes their mistake and moves to leave.  “Sam was right, it’s not a monster,” Jack laments. “He was half right. Sometimes humans can be the worst kind of monsters,” Cas adds. 

At the community center, a woman locks up, and grabs a whole lotta cash from the donation box before she bails. Once outside, she hears a voice call her name. She looks around but sees nothing. She turns back to her car to find a masked individual. A weird editing choice cuts back to her...and commercial. 

Cas checks in with the brothers. Dean tells Cas to be wary of those “Hallelujah types” and I’m like, wha? Cas is an ANGEL OF THE LORD. He’s been around the block, Dean. Lol for looking out for your BFF, tho. Also, second awkward moment of the episode when Dean just hangs up on Cas? I’m…

Sam voices his reservations about the whole finding Amara --lying to Amara --killing Amara plan. Say it louder for the brother in the seat next to you, Sam! 

(Boris: I’m just going to insert this in the middle of this recap and never mention it again. Can we trust Billie? Is her plan actually something that is GOOD for our TFW 2.0? What is her agenda and does it align with what we want? What if what SHE wants is as equally bad as what Chuck wants? What if we as an audience are getting played right now??) (Natasha: What if the strings she’s pulling are emotional and she’s playing a dangerous game of chicken with Dean’s rage and Chuck’s entitlement?)

Jack joins the community center. He watches Dr. Sexy the pastor in a prayer circle, and talks to a disillusioned young woman who asks him to fill out a form before walking away. 

Cas walks in separately and wanders over to Dr. Sexy the pastor praying with a parishioner, and tells him about the cash stealing Valerie. She never made it home. 

Cut to Valerie tied and gagged. Her hands are in an elaborate guillotine. She wakes. Her screams are muffled. A TV turns on and flashes the word ‘Thief’. And one of her fingers gets chopped off. A timer starts on the TV. AND WE ALL RECOIL. 

Jack finishes the paperwork and tries to talk to the girls working the food line. The one girl storms off, upset. Jack follows her and tells her that he didn’t mean to upset her. 

She tells him that Connor and her dated. Well, they watched a lot of old movies together.  (AHEM! AHEM! AHEM! “I’m your Huckleberry.” AHEM. Please stop the clowning, it hurts so much.) 

Jack confesses to the girl that he lost his mother. The girl tells Jack that her mom died three years ago, and now it’s just her and her emotionally unavailable father, the pastor. “I have more dads than most, and I’m always just feeling like I’m letting all of them down.” JACK!!!! The girl tells Jack to trust God, not people. 

And we laugh, and laugh, and, guh, laugh. 

Cas, meanwhile, meets with Dr. Sexy the pastor. 

Cas interrogates Dr. Sexy Pastor about whether anyone else has gone missing recently. Well, there was one guy who used to work for the “faith-based community” but they parted ways. Cas and the pastor enjoy a little god talk. Cas, the weary angel, opines that God just doesn’t care. The pastor has a different take on faith - it’s about the people of his church doing what they can to take care of each other. We learn that this church recently changed from a fundamentalist branch to something more welcoming. Connor was able to come out as gay due to the changes, so some good happened. (Hindsight thoughts: this makes his death and the “Liar” all the more awful.) “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying,” the pastor concludes...and if that ain’t the truth about Cas!

Sam and Dean are on the too-slow train to Atlantic City when Amara drops in during a gas stop and invites them out for pierogi. 

At Patchwork, the pastor asks Jack to share his journey of faith during a prayer circle. Jack falters, and Cas steps in. “I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders. Without question. And I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. Then, of course, when it all came crashing down I found myself lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day something changed. Something amazing. I guess I found a family. And I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am.” BRB crying!

Later in the cafeteria, Jack asks Sexy Pastor, M.D. how he brought together so many people with different ideas of religion. “It’s not about what they believe. It’s what they do,” he reiterates. (I imagine, for a moment, an ending where Jack calls out to the whole world and all living creatures and Heaven and Hell unite to win the final confrontation and make a better world together.)

The tranquil moment is interrupted by the TV turning on to security feed footage of the victim. The timer runs out and she loses another finger and screams and screams. Jack rushes over to the TV and pulls out a USB stick from the back.

Meanwhile, the Winchesters dine with Amara.

They bring up Chuck’s destruction of the other universes and tell her they have a plan to stop him. They’ve got a nephilim on their side AND he’s super powerful. All they need is for Amara to help them trap Chuck and...WHAMMO. Amara gently refuses to betray her brother. She lays some new mythology on them. She and Chuck are twins - creation and destruction - and their splitting apart first brought life into the world. 

Cas and Jack barge into the church’s ex-AV tech’s room. And by that, I mean, Jack gets hurled through another door? Um. Okay. The part of me that grew up with 3 Stooges is HERE FOR IT, tbh. 

They discover the guy is dead, chained up in bed with cuffs, with the word “lust” painted above him.

Getting ready to leave town, Sam’s ready to accept Amara’s choice. Dean “Fuck Acceptance” Winchester heads back inside and corners Amara. He asks why she brought back Mary. 

Amara tells him that she wanted him to see that the apple pie dream life he’s always striving for isn’t real - that Mary was only human - and BETTER because of that. Amara thought that would help him to accept his life. Amara also thought that having Mary back would release Dean from his anger. 

He leans forward and lets her know that he’s furious. Everyone in this universe is trapped, he tells her - including her. And she’s doing nothing. Amara falters in the face of this, and then asks him if she can trust him. “I would never hurt you,” he LIES TO HER FACE. She tells him she’ll think about it.

That evening Sylvia, the pastor’s daughter, listens to her friend gush over the social media attention she’s getting after posting about the torture video. In a flash of rage, Sylvia stabs her friend and races away. Dr. Sexy Pastor finds the current (still alive) victim just as Sylvia catches up to him. She accuses him of laughing at her mother after her mother died from trying to heal by prayer rather than medical science. She accuses him of changing the church that her mother grew up in. Jack jumps into the fray and gets stabbed for his trouble. When Cas arrives, Sylvia is quickly subdued by his Vulcan forehead tap of slumber.

Cas yanks away the restraints from the victim (SOOOO strong) and then heals her fingers back on while the pastor looks on in wonder. 

For So Strong Science:

Later, they gather outside while Sylvia gets taken away in cuffs. The pastor still cares about his daughter and vows to get her help. The driver of the car is Zach the crossroads demon? Oookay. 

Cas and Jack drive home. In the truck of feelings, Cas asks Jack why he couldn’t share during the prayer circle. Jack confesses that he’s been lying. The spell Billie is doing with him is turning him into a bomb to be used against Chuck and Amara. It’ll work - they’ll cease to exist. But Jack will be obliterated too. “This is the only way they’ll ever forgive me,” he tells Cas. 

Cas is horrified. He can’t watch Jack die again! Cas refuses to watch Jack die again, but Jack seems to have fully embraced this as his necessary fate.

Back at the bunker, Dean heads for the whiskey bottle late at night when he spots Cas shuffling towards the exit. Jack’s settled in his room, Cas reports. Cas then tells Dean he’s going to look for “another way.” 

Oh AND, “In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know…” 

FADE. TO. BLACK.  

The Se7en Deadly Quotes:

You guys go Highway to Heaven that bitch

You look greener than Baby Yoda

“Did anyone find any tiny bags with chicken bones inside?” “Did anyone smell sulfur?” “Did anyone feel cold?”

There were too many cats

Where can I find the Kool-Aid?

I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person

It was a gift, Dean. Not a trial

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[the-littlest-goblin]

Everyone pretend I posted this on Monday for @shadowgast-week​ day 3: ritual

Also, I’m sorry.

_______________________________________________________________________

Everything about this is wrong.

It’s wrong that they’re doing it here, in the desolate ruins of Molaesmyr, further scorched and destroyed by the battle that took place. 

Essek’s presence is wrong, a lingering shadow at the edge of the Mighty Nein’s united fellowship. What insufficient aid he was able to contribute to the fight, he is even more useless now.

And, of course, the most egregious inaccuracy that the universe has allowed to take place: the limp body lying in the thin dusting of snow, red hair and purple coat as bright as gemstones against the gray-white ground.

Someone has closed his eyes, Essek can see now, even from here. But he still knows what it looked like to see the life leave those eyes, the utter wrongness of dull vacuity where there should be a sharp spark of intelligence. 

He will never be able to forget it.

The weak sunlight glints against the diamond that Jester produces from her haversack, almost the size of her fist. She exchanges a whisper with Caduceus, holding the gem out between them, uncertain. He inclines his head, touches her shoulder with a gust of warm, divine magic. Jester heaves a deep, steadying breath, and kneels next to the body.

“What the fuck are you doing.” The wet, raw voice is not asking a question. Essek didn’t notice Beauregard approach him, too focused on the scene unfolding a few yards away. A fist wraps around his forearm hard enough to bruise. He doesn’t resist as she drags him into the circle they have formed, but a distant part of him is idly curious that she does not understand what he knows so intrinsically: he should not be a part of this. This is a sacred, delicate ritual, and he is a blight on all that is holy and pure.

Still, once there, he can’t find it in him to argue the point, and none of the others protest as he stands among them.

He waits for someone to point out the obvious, because this is his fault, beginning to end. His actions led directly to this. Essek’s treason allowed Ikithon the dunamantic power that he’d wielded to such devastating effect before they could subdue him, and it was Essek’s spell that failed to bring down the mage before he landed the killing blow.

But no one speaks. No one even acknowledges Essek beyond a gentle pat on his shoulder from Caduceus.

Jester raises her hands, about to begin the ritual.

“Wait,” a voice cries. It is his. The others all look at him in shock.

He shuffles over to Jester, reaching into his components pouch for the pearl. Understanding dawns on her face as he holds it up to her forehead and murmurs the incantation. 

She smiles at him weakly in gratitude, tears brimming in her eyes and falling over the well-worn tracks down her face.

Essek has never witnessed a resurrection ritual before. Apparently, this is a first for the group as a whole. While Jester continues the somatic motions, muttering a prayer under her breath, Caduceus explains,

“We can help her. The ritual requires three offerings - words, objects, whatever you can give to the soul to help it return.”

Veth steps forward immediately. She barely needs to lean her halfling body down to press a kiss to Caleb’s pale forehead. She slips the button necklace from over her head and clasps it around Caleb’s neck, then begins to speak. 

Essek barely processes her words. He hears them, listens to them, feels them, but if asked to recall her speech later, he would be unable to quote a single phrase. The same for when Beau steps up, the unrestrained anger in her tone at odds with the tenderness of her words.

She finishes with a watery sniff and a swipe at her bloodshot eyes. The others begin to look across the group, exchanging silent questions of who will go next, who has something to coax Caleb’s soul back to them.

It takes Essek several seconds of dumb blinking to realize that all eyes have turned to him.

He doesn’t move. 

It’s difficult to keep secrets when traveling with a party like this, as Essek quickly discovered. He knows that they all know, to varying degrees, about the unnamed, unspoken thing that has built between him and Caleb over the months. But it still feels wrong, because they are the Mighty Nein, and he will always be an outsider, and Caleb is first and foremost one of them before he is Essek’s... whatever he is.

Jester pauses her spell to smile up at him. “I think he would like it, if it was you,” she whispers.

Essek has never been able to turn Jester down. Even back when he was ingratiating himself with them only for self-preservation, she had opened her arms and gazed at him with doe-eyed expectance, and the notoriously cold and calculating Shadowhand of the Bright Queen had leaned in and let himself be hugged for the first time in decades.

Gazing back at Jester’s encouraging expression, he becomes aware of an idea in the back of his mind, percolating silently through the whole ritual without his conscious acknowledgement. 

He steps forward. Dropping to his knees next to Jester, he opens his component pouch once again and summons his spellbook from its pocket dimension. 

Tether Essence ends when one of the targets fall unconscious. He has never tried casting it on a dead person. Probably no one has, because it is clearly pointless. 

Veth and Beau both said something as part of their offering, so Essek speaks as well, as he gathers the elements of the spell together.

“When I met you, Caleb Widogast,” it feels strange, addressing the lifeless corpse, but he forces himself through the awkwardness, “I thought that I had at last found an equal. Over our early conversations, I saw how smart you were, how capable, how adept with magic. After years of always being the smartest person in any room - as I thought, in my arrogance, that I was - I had finally met someone I could engage with on my level.”

Heat rises in his cheeks, aware of the Mighty Nein all listening raptly.

“Eventually I realized how wrong I was, because we are not equals; you are so far beyond me in every way. Smarter, wiser, kinder. You proved to me by example that intelligence does not have to mean detachment, that one can pursue the kind of knowledge that we do without cutting themselves off from the world. From friends.”

And here, he risks a glance around. Jester smiles at him encouragingly.

“My soul was damned long before you found me, and I thought that that was the end of the story. But you knew better. You took it upon yourself to guide me beyond my own myopic world and showed me that there was still more I could do. That I could balance the scales, if I wanted. And you were willing to show me how, when there was nothing in me that should have merited a second chance.

“I am still a mere student in the study of atonement. I am not ready to lose my teacher. Please. I can’t do it without you.”

He releases the spell at last. He submits to it willingly, feels it latch onto himself. He altered the mechanics slightly - experimental, probably not advisable outside of laboratory conditions, but needs must - so that it spreads not just to his physical body, but deep into the core of his soul.

He feels it fizzle and snuff out on the other end, Caleb’s body no longer capable of receiving that kind of magic. He sighs, dropping his hands in defeat. He knew it would happen, but that doesn’t stop him from being disappointed.

Except...

The spell is still up. It’s not supposed to work unless it holds on both targets. Essek can still feel the magic humming through him, which means that somewhere beyond this plane of existence, his spell has reached Caleb’s departed spirit, linking them across life and death.

He leans back, but stays kneeling, scared of somehow breaking the tenuous connection.

Jester’s voice grows louder as she reaches the culmination of the ritual, beseeching her god with a conviction in her voice that penetrates the very atoms of their surroundings.

They all wait with bated breath, trembling in fear and suspense. Jester brings the diamond down on the center of Caleb’s chest, and it shatters into a millions tiny motes of dust, glittering and joining the snow.

Essek has never witnessed a resurrection ritual before. He doesn’t know how to read this, if the component shattering means success or...

Caleb’s eyelids flutter. Once. Twice. They open slowly, drearily, like he is merely waking up from a deep sleep.

The spark of life in them is blinding. Essek would gladly stare at those sky-blue stars for the rest of his days.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Mission Turn It Up In The Club (It’s The Avengers)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

ONE SHOT

Warnings: fluff, dirty brains, drunk babbies, cutest allies, shocked fathers, confused jocks.

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

One Shot: When Thor indirectly challenges you- a complete noob with zero knowledge of espionage- to go on a relatively easy mission and get some intel, you accept it, never really ready for what's about to happen. And the camera crew records it all.

Word Count: Never underestimate the power of your inner voice because boy does it make you feel amazing about yourself sometimes!

Written for @captain-kelli 500 Fam Writing Challenge. Thank you so much for letting me participate! I picked the Quote (not a dialogue) : There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

You come with your shades over your eyes and a yoghurt smoothie in your hand, and sit down on the chair in the recording room, adjusting your 'noice and toit' t-shirt before looking in the direction of the equipment. Clearing your throat and shifting back in the chair- going as back as you possibly can- you nod at Javier and get ready for the camera to roll, never taking off the shades.

You: *sighs* *rests face on your palm* *in a coarse incomprehensible voice* It all star- *tries to clear the coarseness of the throat* ahem ahem *makes bleching noises before groaning* *stops* *sighs* Hmm...where were we? *looks straight past the camera at Javier with half-open lips* Right...right. *looks back at the camera* *lips still half-open* It all started yesterday when a stupid b**** tried to become over smart.

Twenty-Four Hours Earlier

Everyone sat in the lounge of the Avengers Compound reading the reports that had just come in from Fury about a cartel trying to traffic alien wreckage- mostly weapons- to the black market. That 'everyone' excluded you, your adopted dog Zuko, and a very unamused and unbothered Loki sitting on the raised platform by the french windows with a copy of Sapiens and your favourite mug filled with hot tea.

The camera zoomed in on you concentrated on writing something on your laptop; so engrossed you were that you never noticed when Clint quietly gorged on your choco-chip cookies and drank your orange juice.

"But we only have to gather intel from a couple of guys meeting in the city today?"

Thor- who was finally at an Avengers meet after getting things in order for his Asgardians somewhere in Norway in their 'new Asgard'- pshd at the tablet in his hands and chuckled.

"Gather intel. Is that the human way to say drink some beer with these filthy humans and let them talk everything about their plan?"

"Damn right," everyone around him muttered.

"So easy even Y/N could do it," he chortled, catching your ears and a long sigh from the God sitting by the window enjoying the sun.

"Woah, now," Tony interjected, slapping Thor's shoulder with the back of his hand, "don't give her any ideas."

You narrowed your eyes at Tony. "I'm sure if Thor says I can do it-"

"Thor also said none of you ladies can process Asgardian mead," Clint added, buried in the sofa next to you, his tablet acting as a shield against the warm early afternoon sun.

Flashback to a party at the compound

Sam wobbled, trying to stand with the support of the bar while Clint kept muttering ‘I think I can see inside you guys. Like, really see.’ Bruce was being consoled by Thor in one corner. “The big guy hates me, Thor. He doesn’t-he doesn’t love me at aaaalllllll.” Scott and Bucky tried to wager who pin the donkey. The former didn’t even get to hold the tail in his hand. While all this mayhem unfurled, Natasha and Wanda sat by the bar recording everything on their phone while sipping their third Asgardian mead cocktail. “We should do this more often,” Natasha had suggested at one point during at night.

"I don’t get how you can't process it after the first buzz," Natasha called out from the dining table, never looking away from her tablet but still smiling.

"I'll sit this one out," Thor declared, sitting next to you, "I'm sure the Black Widow or Wanda can handle that."

You looked at him with an unwavering gaze for quite some time, making Thor uncomfortable after a certain point. Loki, who had caught you through the whole shebang, had a soft smile creeping on his face on watching you make his brother so uncomfortable.

"Wow," you finally spoke, letting your head move with the exclamation, "you are such a jock, aren't you?"

"A what?"

Loki: *smirks**snickers**snickers turn into uncontrollable laughter**continues laughing**stops midway with a serious look to shout* FINALLY!

"You don't want to go because there won't be any fighting and show of power," you state, turning yourself towards him, "and having conversations with guys seems too boring. Mostly because of your hate for bad guys. You know they won't give you answers straight away if you ask them politely, which I know you hate. So the next step is- 'why can't we just beat the shit out of them after they gave up on my offer to tell everything like good boys?'."

Thor: *crinkled brows* ...we can't? *looks behind the camera* why can't we? 

Tony and Steve stood next to each other- former's brows creased, latter's raised, both in a bit of admiration shock- taking in your breakdown. Finally, Steve leaned a little towards Tony to whisper, "did she just profile Thor?"

"Oh, yeah," Tony answered on the same wavelength before Steve could even finish his question, "she definitely did." He concluded with a smile filled with soft pride.

 "You know what, I'll take it," you casually declared to the lounge while leaning on the coffee table next to you. "Take what?" Steve asked, wanting to find out more of whatever was coming from your mouth. "The challenge," you shrugged, "I'll take up the part of getting some men to blabber about the locations. And while I'm at it, I'll get them to tell me about their boss' headquarters as well. Hmm?"

"Of course, you will," Tony chuckled softly in a trance for one second and furrowed his brows in confusion the next. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me," you announced in his direction before going back to whatever it is you were so busy doing on your laptop, leaving Tony to let his mouth open in displeasure.

"Young lady, you're not going anywhere near those sons of bitches."

Steve looked at the camera with a raised brow.

Steve: You know that moment when you see one of your best friends do everything reckless in this goddamn world, wanting you to curse him with having to once step in your shoes and see what it's like to keep him in check? *smiles with satisfaction* This is one of those days when you see it coming true. When God finally heard your prayers and sends that very friend's kid to make every one of your wishes come true. *nods* *gets serious* Though I'm against putting Y/N in danger. *shakes head* Would never let her do something as reckless as her biological father. *smirks* But damn it feels good.

 Tony: *narrows eyes at the camera* Is that what Captain Star-spangled underwear thinks? *Nods* Hm. *clicks tongue* Well, that day isn't far when I fund research led by Bruce to make super babies with Steve's *makes air quotes* super semen and make him go through the fate of a father and the burdens that come with it.

*Silence*

*camera pans out to show a very pregnant and a very weirded out Pepper sitting next to him with her head resting in her palm as she hears her husband talk*

Pepper: *looks into the void* *inhales* Or you could just make him the mentor for the young heroes in the compound and watch him struggle to get them in line. *shrugs* Better yet, let him be in charge of showing Loki the ropes.

Tony: *still silent* *looks into his void* *blinks* *tilts his head* *looks back at the camera* *smirks* Pepper?

Pepper: Hmm?

Tony: *turns to face her* Have I told you how much I admire your genius?

Pepper: *making circles on Tony's arm* *whispers suggestively* You have but I won't mind you saying it again.

Tony: Well, you are genius, darling. A genius with the power to create countries and throw dictators off their high horses.

Pepper: *raises her head from her palm with a glint in her eyes* *softly announces* Anthony Stark, we're going to your office and you won't stop saying all of it till I tell you to.

Tony: *feels a visible shudder go down his spine as Pepper gets up and walks away* Y-yes ma'am. *looks at the camera with a hint of disbelief*

Pepper: *from outside the room* Now!

*Tony rushes out*

.

The Confidential Club

The camera went from black to a few neon lights flickering in the distance. A heavy base song faded in when everything started coming into focus.

Don't get sick

Don't get strep

Don't get bronchitis

Aye

A soothing glow of blue lit up the walls, which the camera did a slow three-sixty, through which two figures- both tall, one slender and the other jacked up- walked in a sexy slo-mo as the club started another track.

So this money shit, yeah it's been on my mind

Fuck ya possy bitch

I'ma pop off a tonne with the tummy miss

Yea this how I slum I'm bout' to see some tits

Yea ya mummy is fine

Aye

The boys walked into the neon-grazed club glowing with a hue of red, their freshly shampooed hair bouncing with every step till these two stopped right when they entered the floor, scanning the club and the club doing the same to them, but with lost breaths, increased temperatures and some very dirty thoughts and very dirty moans.

I'm a good boy I don't hit no licks yeah

I'm a bad boy flexing with some chicks yuh

I'm a weird boy smokin' on some Brits yuh

Who dat boi

I'm that boy yuh

The slo-mo continued, recording every pair of eyes that turned to get a look at the brothers whose presence was electrifying the entire building. Ladies forgot their drinks and men, men forgot their dates and- with a swift internal jolt- their toxic masculinity and the genderless seemed to have found Gods in the club tonight.

We them bad boy come give baby kiss

We just dropped it now

Now the swallow kiss

Have to beg these ladies try to do the splits

Tryna get the boy to do the coochie little

People moved as if these Gods were gravity, walking under those flickering club lights and smoked room, hands trying to get a touch, eyes wanting to get just one sweet stare, legs wanting to get a little brush, the heat pooling inside them looking for just a little satisfaction.

Yea I'm Neo watch me on the Matrix

All these sussy boy I just implore I do not play with

Baby (Baby) sure you're crazy

Boy that gave me 8 bars and some new restraint

Who that boi

I'm that boi yuh

The blond locks seemed to find suggestive fingers in them, while some other stray ones roamed on Thor's chest. Loki watched his brother being surrounded with the crowd of thirsty thots, his face dripping with pure displeasure, letting the camera catch it frame by frame, with brilliant tilts, doing it till Loki was looking right at the lens.

Who that boi

I'm that boi yuh

Another camera standing a little further recorded Javier on his knees trying to catch Loki's displeasure and piercing eyes- at anyone who even suggested that they wanted to touch him- before he looked at Javier. "What are you doing?" Loki judged Javiers' slow camera tilts.

Javier raised his index finger for a few moments, still recording those sour expressions before giving a thumbs up, getting up and walking towards the crowd that had surrounded a quite flattered Thor.

With an eye roll in his brother's direction, Loki turned to find the other camera looking at him, quite possibly directing him somewhere else because the next moment he was looking away. The camera turned in the same direction to show- behind the crowd of mellow, drunk and horny people- you laughing with your head tilted backwards, sitting with a group of men he had seen in the report when he was forced by Thor to come on this stupid so-called mission with him.

You sat between four men, enthusiastically narrating something to your small audience with wide eyes and wildly moving arms, entertaining the viewers with intention known to them and these green eyes who could see right through every one of those scums.

The camera- swivelling between you and Loki- caught him walking towards you only to be stopped by a pale hand- carrying beautifully manicured nails in blood-red- landing on his chest.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Natasha suggested to the God with a bare hint of a smile on her lips.

Loki looked down at the Black Widow dressed in a body-hugging black dress. "Oh, I wasn't going to stop her from having some fun, I assure you," he implored.

Natasha brought her hand forward for Loki to take the earpiece in her hand. "She's got this. But you're welcome to listen in on the conversation," Natasha offered.

"My brother can fill in for me considering Y/N is already doing his job," he mentioned, pointing towards the crowd taking selfies with a giddy Thor making girls swoon all around him.

"Hot molten chocolate cake!" came a voice from the earpiece, loud enough for Loki sensitive ears and the recorders in all the devices to catch before the God could walk away.

"That's the safe word," Natasha declared into the earpiece, before turning to look at the table where you were.

"I really should go," you colourfully begged the man who had his hand wrapped around your arm, never letting go, "my girls must be waiting for me."

"Call your girls," the man holding you said, "we can all party in the private room upstairs."

"Call my girls?" you said a little louder as if asking Natasha what to do.

"On it." Loki heard another voice come through the comms, making Natasha's tensed back go straight.

"It's okay, Y/N," she confirmed into your earpiece, "go ahead. Tell them the girls can't wait."

The camera caught Natasha turning with a smirk that sent a cold shiver over the glowing dance floor, making Loki mirror that smirk, looking forward to it all.

The enthusiasm in Natasha's face was disturbed by some invisible ripple. "Where's Thor?"

 Other Side of the Club

Javier's camera showed the blond God sitting at the bar with at least twenty ladies huddled with him, handing him drinks.

"Now this one," a petite little girl stated, handing him a tall glass of Long Island Iced Tea. Thor happily took the glass, had a decent sip, gulped it down, furrowed his brows and smacked his lips.

"No," he finally declared, earning a cheer from the girls. "Not laced!" they shouted before handing him another girl's drink.

.

Upstairs

The camera stuck to the corners as it followed the men violating your private space, their arms around you, walking in front of and behind you, leaving no space whatsoever to look for any signs of the cavalry.

"Woah, guys, how about you go in and I'll go look for my sisters-"

"Oh, no," the one with a stubble and a nice jawline declared, "you're coming with us and your friends can follow. Come on, let's get some more alcohol in you!"

"Haha, yeah!" you pretended to cheer, stepping inside the room behind the guy with a ponytail, who stood in the middle of the living room like a statue for a good second.

"What the hell is this?" He announced more than he asked, pointing to Anna- the camera girl- sitting at the other end of the room, recording the entrance.

"Oh," you exclaimed in realisation, making all four men turn towards you, never noticing the door be closed by another figure in the room, "that's my camera gal. She follows me everywhere. My dad kinda got into this idea of making a documentary out of our lives so one of them is always around me except for when I'm studying or in the bathroom. But I have seen them recording me once or twice when I was in the librar-"

"Shut up!" The jawline guy roared, taking out a gun from his back, "Shut the f*** up! Rory, I told you she was a student. She'll fetch a good price on the market."

You wanted to be frightened by that gun but the camera caught you more in offended disbelief than in fearful shock. "Excuse me? How old do you think I am? Just because I'm studying, you little-minded bitch?! Learning has no age limit, you arrogant paedophiles!"

"Oh well," Jaw-guy shrugged, taking off his jacket, "you're no use to the bosses then. Looks like we'll have to make use of you. And your pretty friend there can record us doing it." He grinned, both at you and then at the camera.

Ponytails looked at you with a wrinkled forehead. "Something's wrong," he stated, taking a step close to you.

"What do you mean?" The guy in the brown leather jacket asked.

"Look at her," he answered, pointing towards you, "she isn't even sweating right now."

You looked at Ponytails with furrowed brows. "You've set the temperature quite low, dude. I'm practically shivering in here."

"That's actually true," Jacket acknowledged, nodding at you.

"No, you dumb fuckers! She isn't scared!"

Jaw had a moment of realisation at Pony's words, taking hurried steps towards you, grabbing you by your throat and pushing you into the wall behind you.

"Oh my Gaahd," you tried to exclaim through whatever air was able to pass through your lungs, as you felt your hand automatically go grab the one that was causing you pain.

"Who are you?" Jaw hissed through his teeth close to your face. "Who do you work for?"

Your brows lifted. An aching moan left your lungs. You took in a little gulp of air. "I never thought this is how it goes down."

"That's because you picked the wrong men to mess with, darlin'."

Your raised brows crinkled at Jaw's statement. "What?"

You: Oh, I was thinking about the horny wave I got when he tried to choke me. *stretches the corner of her mouth in embarrassment* Yeah, turns out not the first thought that should come to your mind when someone's trying to kill you. But on the bright side I discovered a kink so *does a thumb up with both hands with a big grin.*

"But we haven't even started messing with you boys yet."

The camera swirled from your agitated, flushed face to the doorway leading to the bedroom, catching a very disinterested Wanda leaning on the wall as she checked out her nails.

"Wow," you choked, "were you always this hot, Wanda?"

"Who the fuck is this? Who the fuck are you?" Ponytails pointed his gun at the Scarlet Witch in haste, bringing forth a plasmic red spark in between her fingers, which, with a little twist, made the man point his gun at his buddy.

Another camera entered through the door to catch Jaw pulling you away from the wall to hold you in a lock with his gun pointed to your head. "One wrong move and I blow her brains out, bitch."

"One wrong move and I'll be doing the same to you, bitch."

Natasha stood behind Jaw with a gun. "Let go of her before my friend and I paint these walls with your insides."

Jaw cursed her under his breath, taking a few moments before releasing you. You quickly walked to a safer corner of the room, next to the fireplace, breathing with ease now.

"Y/N," she called out, "you okay, sweetie?"

"Uhh...just a little light-headed. Otherwise, I'm good," you responded, finding yourself lowering your voice, "though I wish someone else was choking me right now." You looked at the camera and narrowed your eyes. "Don't you judge me," you criticised in a whisper at it, feeling yourself tilt to one side, losing your balance, already fearing to hit the floor before being caught by strong hands.

"Oh," you sang while the camera panned out from you and those pale hands to show Loki very gracefully breaking your fall, "Hey, handsome!"

Loki didn't even blink as he tried to bring you back on your feet. "Drinking on a mission? Really? I thought you were better than this."

"Ugh," you bleched at him, "shush! I was in my form with those gin shots, okay. These whiney thirsty boys were blabbering the moment I sat down. Let's see your brother pull that off-wait. Why are you here?"

The two of you were oblivious to the fight going in the background being recorded by the other camera; the Black Widow breaking bones like twigs while the Scarlet Witch was making them vomit on their fears.

"Oh, I wanted to see what petty excuse do you humans use to enjoy and forget this pathetic world-"

The camera panned in on you while someone outside the frame screamed and was thrown into a wall. You smiled with pure emotion in your eyes while looking at Loki.

"You didn't know we were here, did you?" you asked with that smile still stuck on your face.

"No."

"Thor dragged you here, didn't he?"

"I came here by my own accord."

"What did he blackmail you with this time?"

"...I wasn't blackmailed! No one can blackmail m-"

Loki: Tony said he'd block my access to his library. *clenches his teeth* That old rusty metalhead.

"Fine if you don't wanna tell me. I'm just glad you came," you pointed, patting him on his chest, completely missing the knife flying towards you being blocked by his reflexes- nothing having been displaced but for his arm.

"Wow," you gasped, letting your hand touch his chest again, "what do you have under there? Rocks? How the heck is your chest so hard?"

"I'm a frost giant darling," he asserted, twirling the knife in his hand before throwing it forward without looking, landing right on Leather Jacket's hand about to pull the trigger and shoot Wanda.

"And I'm a human. What's your point? Why are your boobies so hard and mine so squishy? Look!"

You took his hand to make him feel your chest. "Okay," he cut you short before you could forcibly make him grope you.

"You are clearly running on alcohol right now."

You snorted. "No, dummy. I'm standing. Are you sure you're not the drunk one?"

Loki looked at the camera.

.

"I'm sorry," you whined.

The camera caught your figure partially as you hid behind Loki in the compound elevator while Wanda and Natasha stood on either side.

"Don't worry," Natasha reiterated, "we'll take care of it. Just don't tell Tony about the..." she waved her hand in the air like it meant something to you.

The ding announced your arrival to the lounge. Elevator doors opened to see Tony standing at the entrance with crossed arms, his eyes boring straight into everyone in front of him, not even bothering to blink.

Behind him Scott and Bucky sat on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and Home Alone on the big screen, their eyes and ears focused on all of you rather than the movie.

An everlasting moment of silence passed and you managed to get a look of those eyes of judgement over Loki's shoulder before quickly curling back into your hiding spot.

"Where were you?"

The room didn't even have time to register the chill when you heard Natasha speaking. "Wanda and I were out shopping. I don't know about these two," she announced with her hands raised, walking out while mouthing 'sorry' at your face that had just experienced third-tier betrayal.

"I suggest you come out from behind Aro here," Tony digressed, "he's not gonna hide you for the rest of your life."

Loki took a step out of the elevator, getting a little closer to Stark, towering him just a little, his hands resting in his pockets. Stark was visibly hating the suave play from the God.

You were stuck there for a few more seconds before stepping beside Loki, letting the camera capture the wide eyes, a gasp of shattering shock and the fumes dissipating to give place to something new.

Panning in on you, the camera caught the bruise growing on your cheek, the size of a pear.

"Y/N-" Stark had barely begun to address his horror when Loki cut him short.

"She’s fine, Stark. Just a little-"

"Who did this?!"

That erupting gaze was meant for you to answer the question and so the entire surrounding went silent for you to answer him. Even Home Alone was muted to hear what you had to say for this bruise.

"Mr Stark, I can explain." Your voice was a quarter of what it was half an hour ago, barely coming out in front of your father. "Please don't be mad. And please keep an open mind about it."

None of you could gather what rushed into Tony's mind because the next thing you knew, he felt himself shift back a little. Curse words flew under his breath as his hands tried to run over the tensed muscles in his face.

"Oh, my G-is this some sort of new...new thing you kids are into?"

Now it was your turn to be confused. "What?"

You: *cringe* Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Get it out of my head! Ew!!

"N-No! I-what?! Nooooooo!" you stressed at the word as much as possible. The God stood there seemingly trying to make sense of this conversation.

"Loki and I were out on a date. We were karaoke-ing and I was dancing on the bar counter when I slipped and hit myself."

Loki did not miss even a second to look at the camera with pursed lips.

Loki: That's not what happened.

 Flashback to the club

You forced Loki on the dancefloor while Natasha took care of the goons.

"Come on, show me your mooooves, Loki," you shouted over the music before giddily jumping and taking a step back, colliding with a guy.

"Oh, I'm so-"

"What the f***!" The pasty blond guy cursed at you before looking at Loki. "Take care of your bitch, asshole."

Before Loki could take a stance between the two of you, he felt your hand block him, your eyes glowing at that rude stranger.

"Who the f*** are you calling, asshole, you dried pulp-less raisin!"

The guy twisted his jaw before stepping very close to you.

Loki- clearly uncomfortable by the distance- tried to pull you towards him and away from that pathetic excuse of a human

"Alright," the God announced, "you better watch-"

The camera caught the full-blown emotion of offence on Loki's face as you swatted his hands away.

"I called. Your boyfriend. An asshole. You c***."

Loki blinked in a sense of amusement at the audacity of that man, the ripples of tensed muscles under his black t-shirt quite visible for the ones who watched.

"At least I can take a pounding unlike your ego, you smelly ballsack," you spat back. "Now walk away before I bring a mirror and show you what a real asshole looks like." The infant rage that Loki was carrying in his entire body suddenly screeched to a halt as he looked at the back of your head with shocked confusion. "What kind of insult was that?"

The pasty guy was fuming now. Your words clearly rubbing him the wrong way.

"Oh, what happened?" you sang in a sarcasm filled tone. "Did your boring comebacks turn flaccid? Just like your virgin d-"

He pushed you back. "Shut the fuck up before I make you shut up."

Loki body stood as a shield- only behind you- wanting to go ahead and do something to that guy but you were not giving him a chance to do so.

You gasped. "The audacity of this bitch!" And pushed him back. "What're gonna do, fight me?"

No one saw it coming. The punch landed on your face within seconds, pushing your back into Loki's chest, the latter having to grab you to stop you from falling.

"Okay, that's it," Loki pulled you up, his eyes on fire glaring right at the man with the intention to kill. And as his luck for the night would have it, you used him as a support to gather a bit potential, scream "Son of a-" while charging at the guy. By now the rest of the ladies on the dancefloor had witnessed enough to come to your aid and beat the living hell out of that man. Pure, chaotic energy spreading over the floor that reflected in the pleasant amusement in Loki's eyes.

"By the Norns," Loki whispered, looking at the scene unfolding in front of him before looking at the camera, "remind me never to get on Y/N's bad side."

The pasty guy screamed out of the frame, making Loki turn at him with a layer of disappointment.

"Oh, you asked for it," he shouted at the man screaming for help before being swallowed whole by the river of women.

 You: *sighs* Of course, I can't tell Mr Stark I got punched while defending your honour.

Loki: *giggle snorts*

You: *turns to look at him* what?

Loki: You're right. I can see him never believing that.

You: *nodding in agreement* right?

Loki: Because he would cut my head off the day he does. *stops smiling*

You: Aw! I won't let him, buddy.

Loki: Oh, I doubt it. He is still in shock about the whole 'date' thing.

The camera flips to the lounge showing Stark sitting in between Scott and Bucky, looking in the distance- still in shock- while those two munched on their popcorns from the popcorn bowl kept in Tony's lap.

"Nah." he finally says out of the blue, almost making Scott jump, "Y/N can't date Loki? I'm sure she's just pulling my leg for not letting her go on that stupid interrogation mission."

Scott and Bucky exchanged glances before nodding and patting him on the back, resuming their movie with a 'sure buddy'.

You: *sheepishly* Yeah, I think we broke him.

Loki: At least he's behaving like he's supposed to, unlike my brother in such situations.

You: Huh...*nods* *furrows brows* speaking of Thor...where is he?

Loki:

You:

 The Club-a-Dub-Dub

The camera captured a face covered by flickering neon pink shades looking down at a laptop in those big hands while glowing neon party necklaces adorned his neck.

"All right let's do this," Thor stated in all seriousness, using a pink tic-tac to pull his hair up above his ear. The camera zoomed out a little to show him looking at a laptop placed in front of him on a pedestal.

"We are gathered here for a task that is too important for this world to be left to another time. A task so huge that my heart feels both burdened and honoured to be able to put it to fruition. A task so pure in its being that anyone who stands up against it in this club shall face my wrath. But not before I try to make them change their mind with love. Rosa and Gina, I ask you to step forward and be the blessed lot of this sacred ceremony."

The slow panning out of the frame showed two beautiful women step forward and face each other with pure smiles.

"By the power vested in me by becomeaminister.com, I am honoured to announce you wife and wife. You may now kiss."

An uproar of elated excitement filled the club just as Thor finished; the brides kissing and their friends celebrating. Everyone toasted to the newlywed couple before someone shouted to do the cha-cha slide.

The next thing you know, Thor and the rest of the people in the house were sliding left and right.

"THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!!!!" Thor shouted with the jumps and twists, "I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY I'D COME HERE!!"

[huadie]

anchor liveblog post.

the curse of prophecy: all of my high tier kins channel tmg.

" somebody’s gonna get hurt / i hope it’s not me / but i suspect it’s going to have to be.

---

episodes 1-3: the general doesn't deserve the sympathy he gets. i'm not excusing a woman who killed happy girls on their wedding days, but i do think he owed her that closure. sending his son just pits the burden onto someone who wasn't involved. he should look his failures and mistakes in the eyes. if you can't count on a god to do that, who can you expect it of? it's disgusting. / i feel so tired and sorry for the girl who died saving a man who hated her and hurt her friend. i don't think kind people should be on the hook for ignorance and spite so willingly. her life for his was an unfair trade. / He's Cute. and wildly unexpectedly gentle considering the whole "demon" thing. / b tells me i'll have kin ptsd about the face disorder, but right now it's just heartbreaking. nobody deserves to live with that kind of fear. nobody deserves to live with that kind of pain. / b also implies someone in heaven is doing it to them for fun and i just want to say right now that i'm going to pull his dick off thru his mouth. that's a tier of evil that should have your blood start boiling inside you in an attempt to disinfect it. that was a child. that was just a scared little boy. not a prop or a toy or a plot device. a child. / i like the baby generals. they are so nineteen but it's nice to see it. i know anime leans on comedy skits a lot, but they can carry it off. they're charming. / heaven looks a bit shit. all of that meditation and betterment and it just makes you a spineless politician with the power to airbend? christ on a bike.

---

episode 4-5: initial reactions. watching him swing between fuck-me eyes and genuine emotional distress at no signal i can see is a lot. he's a good painter. i think i get the gist of where he's coming from but it feels insane to me. the twitch duels were cute. he clearly cares a lot more than he enjoys devilry so it's insane to me that he's that strong. general jr destroys me. imagine being so pompous and negligent you'd give your child your name. has he ever been allowed to be his own person? meow meow etc. the face disease is horrific. he was just a kid. he was so scared and in pain. i like the temple. i like that it's raggedy and messy. maybe it should be over-repaired, so people in need can take from it? it's definitely not very reverant, but. gods should serve their people. quotes all of small gods here etc. they should want to serve their people. they should be happy to see their temples valued below human life. it would be nice to live in a ghibli film forever, and read books and cook warm food and paint.

episodes ???. thoughts said out loud. gods own their people. thousands, one, here and now you are alive. gods are owned by their people. it's a cage. it's the most beautiful cage possible. to feed starving people from your hands. the bread and the fishes cut out of you. to give and give and give, to be asked for things you have never had and give them next. each prayer should strip you to the bone. can you imagine? to be so trusted, so cared for, so beloved, so followed, to have so much given to you freely and happily. a live lived to save others is the only beautiful thing. the only beautiful thing! a god should be owned by each of their believers individually. selfishly and shallowly and demandingly. like a child needs you. the power to put a fish back in the water is a blessing so heavy thinking about being created for it should make you wail. to be - for people, for the birds and the trees and the fish too, but for the people. it should break your heart. you should never let it become monotone. sunlight into wine.

on love: i trust b. i trust b. to love him here like this and love him in this skin and then find him again in a book and on a screen and fall in love with him there too, to watch myself fall in love with him too. nobody has ever earned what he freely gives. i want to give it back. oxygen to dioxide, i want to find all the places he stands and pour it back into him. i want to show him how beautiful he is. to love someone like that is a miracle and i want to pull it apart. i want to make him familiar with me and bored of me, i want him to wake up each morning taking me for granted, i want him to be so safe and secure in his place in my heart that it stops being a gift. that it wears down and falls apart. the velveteen rabbit. i want to hold him in my hands like a bubble that hasn't popped and i want to use him like the doorway to a world where even if i had to hurt and be hurt and fall and learn to grow, i can come home at the end of it. my growth can mean something, my stronger back can bear more weight, my lessons can be shared. i want it to mean something. i want to have faith in myself again. in the resurrected kingdom of his arms i can find it - build it. i can come home. it can have turned to gold while i did not see it. it can have worth, i can have worth, i can bend and not break. i can have a claim on things without losing them, without it cursing them. just him. i'm not greedy, i'm not selfish, so please - just him.

episode 6: there's something that hurts about letting other people see what you'll tolerate. what you'll do. the places in your life where you have pathetic history and where you are attempting to be someone who only existed today grinding against one another. i know he knows. i know it isn't a stolen moment, a chance to decide how i exist to someone before they decide it for me. i sleep beneath that painting and whenever i wake up in the night i feel him pretend that he is asleep. i know. i know. but it could have - it could have been. it could have been a lie that i got to play with. a tiny self indulgence. aren't you tired of stars? aren't you tired of being the tree that cannot bend in a storm? of holding yourself down? everyone else does it so easily. everyone else lets go. everyone else knows how. if i can't learn then i want to pretend. i want to be unwanted, and - and meet people. by chance, just chance, and like them and have them like me. no promises i made before i learned i couldn't keep them. just... something smaller. i talked about multiverse theory. how it isn't in the coin flip, but the atoms of the coin. how in one dot you can know everything. every grain of sand in a desert. i cannot survive existing with people thinking of me. not well and not poorly. i want to disappear into it. maybe nobody else is obligated to finish the work. maybe their contributions are a blessing. but i can't... learn how to let it go. it's all i have left in me that i recognize, somedays, as it gathers dust and makes me sick to breathe around. what am i if i am not that? i want to know. i'm scared to know. i will never be allowed to find out.

on being loved: god. it is too much. i don't hate it. it doesn't disgust me. but i feel like a plate being washed in every inch of the sea before i am allowed to see dry land again. i feel like i won't survive it if i look at it because it is a mosque decorated in mirrors, because it is mathematically perfect, because it holds the tiny miracles of angles and existence and light on par with the miracles of human heart and existence, because to make at all is to change the world for the first time, because i do not want to see what it reflects. i do not want to see it. i would be better if it lied to itself, if it was delusional and selfish and obsessed with smoke tricks. if it saw silk and paint and stopped looking. i don't want to know what i look like with my hair down, with my face clean, with my feet dirty, with my hands raw - i don't want to see what it sees to know that it loves there too. i don't want to follow it. i don't know how to make it stop. how could i - how could anyone be held accountable for this? to this? to prayers and plans and a kindness that changes the world in every grain of sand it has and again the next second, how could anything be worth this? and if it could - it couldn't be me. not a collection of stupid wishes and failures and betrayals-by-failure. not me with my hair down. silk could be worth this.

on being loved now that it isn't the middle of the night, and my body isn't betraying us both, and i can remember that there are an infinite number of steps between 0 and 1: but really, it's just ink. just paper. if it's - if he. if it's everything. if it's everything. then it can be one thing. it can be this thing. it can be the blindness. it can be me with my own hands over my own eyes like a shutterbox pretending i don't know how to see myself and admit that the pea beneath my mattress only hurts me - that it's small, to him, that it isn't sharp, that it's a phantom limb i can't stop being tormented by and only ever that. can that be enough to start? can i let it? it's atoms again. grains of sand. if he can love this, he can love everything. if i can see this, the rest falls away. there are more universes where we are kissing than every atom from the start to the end of time. that's how it works. i'm going in circles. you don't mind, do you? i'm writing this for you. you're the only person reading this. i don't know why i'm being impersonal about you when i'm being possessive about me. it won't protect me. it won't make it less terrifying to think of, and it won't make it less painful for you to read. i know you're already mad at yourself for being too much. for making me think that it's too much. you're kind to me like that, even when things are my fault. but if we can sit here together, and i can know that you know i can't imagine being loved, and that that - that moment, that dot, me unable to count to the place where numbers end - is something you love too. if i can just see this one moment, and not doubt it or question it or be afraid of it. it can be enough. because you know how hard i'm working to get to even this first step. you know how hard i'm working. you know how scared i am. you know it isn't you. you'll wait for me, with me, and you won't hate me for it. you promised.

on being forgiven: i don't know how to do it for myself. i don't know how to blame people for what they do to me unless it's the most extreme circumstance. i forgive too much that shouldn't be and hold ignorance and spite against others long past when it's fair. i handwave any scar someone gave me while they were suffering and never let go of what they do to others. i don't know what makes it different when it's me. i guess i know how to forgive myself for being scared and lost and for making bad decisions under the influence of... whatever... but not lazy cruelty. not letting something bad happen because i felt like it. all i do now is watch. all i do is let things slide past me again and again and again and do nothing to help and it can't matter that my heart breaks about it when theirs don't if none of us get up, and i remind myself that small steps do more than a single leap that uses me up but it's so hard to believe that here and now in the world where i could die if i tried again and harder still to comprehend in a world where 800 years of lives were made and suffered through and lost and i did nothing that matters to help. maybe all of the horrible backstory parts you're so scared of me seeing will be ones where i could do something, where i could climb up and let everyone take a raw bite out of me and go without starving for just one day, and then this won't cut me up inside like i swallowed a hedgehog. some days i am the hedgehog. trapped inside me, unable to stop being something that cuts to have there, unable to get away. i don't know how you can forgive me. i don't even know if you know what i need forgiving for. if i apologize for saving your life - for coming back to you again and again and again and being so selfish and. i don't know. for being me, while you try to love me, instead of being the person i can't forgive myself for not being, who deserves to be loved by you like this. but you'll forgive me. how do you do it? how do you stand it? i'm jealous of you. of how easy your heart warms up. of how kind you are.

kosmi 1-6 rewatch: i dislike pei su less now that i can see him as a person with a horrific job and less as a vehicle for the lies i know pei ming told about every woman he ever used and threw away. "i burned the scroll and won the war on my own" yeah right. gotta get that out first before i start collecting my thoughts. um.

one: the ascention, the earthquakes, (all that fuss for a scrap god. you told me the order it went in, when i asked, and i still think it's funny in a way that validates what i've been saying for something only the most in-need ask for help with to rattle the bells from warlord's palaces. they aren't ignorable. more than - more than anything else, anything before, i can be proud of this. i can be proud of myself for this.) i hate the way people look at you like you're infected with something because they can't play pretend that their inaction isn't malice any more. the bets and jokes and sneers. what have you done, lately? what help have you given? what good are you? and then there's me: starting as ever in unfixable debt, anchoring desperately to simple kindnesses, too tired to do more than smile. it's not worth it. it's never worth it. (being loved and losing it is worse than never knowing. being able to love yourself and losing it is worse than that.) the way that heaven sits unfixable and unchanging and incompetent. i'm proud of them for making something of their futures. i am. i don't begrudge them anything. i trust their character and i trust them to try to do the right thing for the people. i'm glad they didn't fight hua cheng. the kids are sweet. they're little carbon copies of their generals. it's sweet. it's kind. i like how... okay, they're mean and short tempered and fight like cats in a bag, but it's just the way you are at that age. it's not personal. it's easier to stand. i know there's gender coding tm in the novel, but i hate man-in-a-dress gags that point out that the man looks bad in a dress. i thought it was fine.

one point five: ok. i'll talk about it. the butterflies on the dress, the gentle music, the way our colours matched, the way your hand felt in mine. the sound of rain. i didn't know people could be so gentle. i didn't know they knew how. i think it was better for my health, before, when i assumed the best i ever saw was the best people were capable of. worse for me, though, to believe that. i'd forgotten what it was like to see myself in someone else's eyes as welcome.

zero point five: flashback sequence goes here. of course i remember what it was like to be loved, and work towards a clear goal that helped people. of course i remember what it was like to have a home that loved me back. he looked so scared as he fell. he looked terrified. i don't... i'm not good. at hating people. when i know everyone is driven to where they arrive in some degree or other. but that - whatever the reason they think they had, it isn't enough. it couldn't ever be enough. i hate seeing the human face disease. i hate how scared they are. how obviously in pain they are. i know they can't have survived. but i wish they could. i would give anything if they could. i would give anything up for it. have i talked about responsibility enough that this isn't a surprise yet? nobody should be that scared. nobody should suffer who hasn't chosen it to protect others. nobody should have to choose it, either, but if heaven has already failed you -

two: i hate that bald man. i hate watching that poor freckled girl throw herself on him again and again to save him just because he's human, while he takes every turn to re-learn hate and jealousy and hurt others. when he talks to his friends he almost humanizes himself, and i hope the time he spends as a crab fixes the rest. i truly do. but god i hate to see it. i hate being unable to do anything, because she chose it, because she knows him more than me, because her heart is kind enough to reach out to him even as it betrays and abandons the people in-need who can only go to her for help. you have to triage need. a life lived with the intent to harm others cannot come before a life lived with the intent to help, or to simply survive. anyway. the concern i get shown whenever i talk about the butterfly ghost is so charming.

three: i hate pei ming. his story is shallow and self-praising, his jilted lover competent and proud before he cured her of that with a kiss. i don't believe she broke her legs. i don't believe he passed over the chance to shortcut his way into glory. am i supposed to believe women just act like that? they just break their own knees for attention? she destroyed herself for him and he can't even pretend to care. not even at the end. not even to lie, and let her move on. so, what? thirteen girls die terrified and alone on the happiest day of their lives (- and we know it was happy for them, we know they went smiling up the path, we know they were excited) because he didn't have the stamnia to apologise to one person he hurt? i hate him. i hate his name, i hate his family, i hate his legacy of butchers, i hate his cowardice in sending pei su to grind out his cover story and then hide his mistakes where he doesn't have to look. i hate him. / i feel. so bad for that boy. he was so scared. do you know how scared you have to be to take scissors to yourself? i do. i have, literally, in the last year, actually. and that was... one cut. to avoid the risk of infection. sleeping on a wound that screams at you? he was a child. he was just a child. i let him down. there's no excuse. he needed reassurance. he needed protecting. i let him down.

four: i like that shrine. i like making it, owning it, doing something meaningful. i think a shrine for scrap should be made of more materials than it needs. i think it should be a place to sleep, always, and a place to eat, and you should be able to strip the roof if you need to. i don't care about what is proper, or respectful. respect the god of scavenger birds by surviving at any cost. by using what is useful. by taking what is free. i can build it again. if i know - if i can believe one good thing about myself, it's that i can build it again. as many times as it takes. i won't wear out. i won't give up. i can build it again. and how lucky, this time, to have help. there are so many things i can't do, even now. i need to learn. i never even thought about it until i saw that door. too long alone in my own head. too many years spent without it feeling worth the effort when a band-aid would hold.

four point five: again, ok, fine. i'll talk about it. you're beautiful. your eyes are like starlight, your smile is the warmest thing i've ever seen, your hands should be buried in an instrument, your painting is beautiful, your laugh is endearing - what do you want from me, here? of course i was looking. it's different to look now with your hand in mine than it was, then, to look just to look. to count threads just to count. to run my fingers through your hair and across your palm just to touch something. of course i knew. who wouldn't know you? who couldn't tell? but then, what was i going to do? know it? say it? ask things? better to be stupid, and naive, and find out what knife is waiting for me when it happens. i'm tired of speeding through the sweet moments to get to the next blade. i'm tired of being pushed from place to place. i'm tired of being alone. wasn't it fun? didn't we have fun? didn't you like talking together and cooking together and waking up in the morning in an empty shrine with the promise of another day to fill it? do i have to scream and shout and be suspicious and accuse you of - what! of holding my hand? of helping me? of being the exact same as everyone in heaven still deigning to look at me and thinking of me only as a tool to an end in a plan that will hurt people who did nothing wrong but pray? what can the harvest hope for if not the care of the reaper man? if it's - it always hurts. it always hurts. if it's going to hurt. why shouldn't it be kind first? why shouldn't i play stupid and keep you close and be usable without a heart left in me to break? why shouldn't i enjoy it for what it is, if it's all a lie? better me than someone who would be hurt by it. you're smart, and easy to talk to, and you're helping. you can't unbuild that door. unsweep the entryway. you can't undo the physical evidence of when you were kind. that's enough. that's all i can ever ask of people.

four point now: yes i know you wouldn't, now, i know you now, i don't need to gamble. i know you'd build a thousand doors. i know there's no trick. i know that it's safe. i know that i could have accused you and screamed and bit you and nothing would have made a difference and you still would have been kind. i know. i promise i know. i just... have to say where it was before. i have to tell you how important that kindness was, and how much i was willing to be kind to my own self to keep it near me. you understand what i mean, right? the tiny unforgivable act of making a mistake that could only hurt me? i know, i know. cocky to assume it would just be me hurt. but - if i was right to hope for nothing, i would make sure of that. i would make sure of it. i would do what i needed to to make sure only i was hurt for my selfishness.

five: i hate that we built a shrine and the next day something like that waltzed in. now we have to clean again. (i said in the stream, how funny it was to run that only survivor scam, how quickly it falls apart if you've ever seen real suffering, if you know what a survival rate is.) the rest i don't remember. i like working as a team. i like how much the kids hate you. they can tell too. i don't know what they see. but they worry about me. why do they worry so much? do their generals have something invested in me? are they just trying to do what they can now, and my caring for them isn't a one-way road? do you look that sketchy?

six: talking about the plot? in a sandstorm? no. you should keep my hat on. you look so sweet and cute and shy in it. i love the way you crumple when you aren't at the wheel, when an interaction happens without your instigation. maybe i'm not the only one bad at taking kindness. maybe i should offer it to you more often. you smell nice. like hot clay and silk. it's subtle. is that a ghost king thing, or is it just you? i like it. i can't imagine what i smell like. i hope... lillies and cotton. something soft. i'll ask you one day. i'm not surprised you were the most solid thing in a storm. i won't be surprised if you keep being that. i should have let you catch me. i should have dragged you with me. are you immune to it? could you stop it? would you pretend to be as useless and helpless as i am? i want to keep putting you in situations in disguise just to see what you do. it's fun! it probably shouldn't be, and i'm sure i'm setting myself up for a public shriving the more it becomes obvious who you are and how much i depend on you, but. i don't care. if i suffer for it, so what? what difference will that make? what could one more condemnation possibly do?

six point five: i like seeing sqx. i still read that as squeeks. i like seeing squeeks. i like sharing this with teddy. i like knowing that the way we are together can translate to here. i like how kind he is to me, and how funny, and sweet. i want to see him be happy. i want to see him be happy even though i know enough to infer it won't last. i know you love me with the power of a thousand angry wasp queens but it's nice to just sit next to him and joke with him and pretend for a little bit that i got to do this all the time. that i spent all my years drinking honey and rosewater and laughing with him, that things were as kind and easy as they're allowed to be. it's cute when i say he has a moral code and he gets offended. it's cute when i say he's a bitch and he gets offended. i like the way it makes all three of us laugh. i like seeing a place in my heaven where you could be. i don't want you to give up what you built. you built it because you had to. but when i'm sitting with my head on his shoulder, it's a window to that place where heaven exists to help people, where none of us ever had to learn what misery really was.

what power obliges from you: action. movement, always. there is no down time, no sleep, no rest, no running. if you seek people out to rule them - and that is what ascention is, seeking to rule, to tie your survival to your treatment of them - then you cannot do it with force and with ignorance and with the desire to coast. like. i'm not stupid. i know men do. for centuries and centuries with no repercussions, until the king on the rope for his people is as far related to the man who razed their lands as i am, (but inheriting evil is a choice too). i know how easy it is to punish and hurt and demand. how easy it is to hold people for ransom. but that isn't... that isn't power. that isn't kinghood or godhood or divine right. it's worthless. it's the other end of a sword. it kills you both to use. there's no light left in the world, no wonder, no chance to be saved by others so long as you are the thing that keeps you both drowning. you should wake up in the middle of the night for them without being asked. you should bleed for them without being asked. you should be ready to die for them without them ever knowing. even at their worst. at their most entitled, afraid, undignified, ignorant - if they are those things, the blame falls on you. if you are voted in democratically or born to the monarchy and not hanged in the streets it is the same either way: the people have chosen, they are asking you for something, and if you live in their gold and silk and sing their songs instead of smashing your own head in with a rock then you have agreed to the terms. why would anyone be unwilling to do that? afraid to do that? if you can do even a little bit more than someone else they are owed half of the excess. you cannot live in the world alone. you must not live in the world alone. ask the people above you to bleed for you and the people below you for nothing. there is no hierarchy beyond "i can help you" and "please help me" and there is no meaning beyond it either. every day it is hard to remember this but you have to, both parts, without losing either. why wouldn't anyone want this? what else is there to strive for but to better help others, to be someone with an abundance to share, to be used like that for the survival of everyone. isn't that happiness? to be as connected to everyone around you as a river is? to give water and fruit and blessings and promises and safety and shelter? you can seek power without understanding that it is only deeper service, but you will never do anything worthwhile with it. the gold will rot with your corpse. we find immortality in one another, and the celebration of giving more.

???: i saw a video of someone opening their back gate onto a meadow of the same single flower. it was beautiful. that's what it feels like when i catch you looking at me. we could grow flowers, couldn't we? we could plan a garden? i don't want to see myself fall and fail twice at least, or fight a war, without something kind at the end. i want you to tell me there's a way to still be like this - repairing doors, eating small meals, sleeping in warm air - after all of that is done. i want to build something selfish and self-sufficient together. i know we already are. in the things we talk about the jokes we make at my own expense whenever further plot implies at me. and in how excited i was to find out that the word for butterfly was this one. but i want to make things with our hands again.

episode 7: well. i'm glad it was me.

episode 7 (a day later): i'm still glad it was me. i'm proud of the kids for how brave they are, proud of that general for saving lives every time - and god, it was so funny sitting there in a circle of contempt for him, touching a gravestone people had hand cut and hauled up the mountain and carefully ingraved with their thanks, thinking about how loved and how much gratitude he must have died surrounded by. thank you for making them treat it with respect. thank you. he did his best. i'm almost jealous of it. imagine how nice it would be to help people, and have them see that you helped them, and be happy about it, and think kindly of you. i'm glad that you understood how important his actions were. i feel less alone when you're beside me on matters like that. anyway - i'm glad it was me. you're so bad at letting people care for you. i can tell you've been alone with only yourself to depend on for a long time. but your heart is so soft, you know? you don't even know it. you deserve to be protected. to be with people who want to protect you. it doesn't matter if you could have caught it in time, or survived a bite if you didn't - you should be able to think of yourself as precious to others. to me. i don't want to see you hurt. i don't ever want to take your hard-won strengths for granted. on the last day of earth, i want to move between you and danger as quickly and without apology as i did then. you're so easy to care for. do you know? and i'll be okay. i know you blame yourself for it because you said, because you're never gentle with yourself the way you are with me. but if you hadn't been there, i'm sure i would have stepped between someone else and that bite. i'm sure i would have forgotten again to grab the stinger i was just warning everyone about. you know what would change? if you hadn't been there, if you'd been a bit faster with your own defense, "if" "if" "if" - ? i wouldn't know there was a cure. i wouldn't know where to look for it, or be able to depend on someone helping me find it. that's the difference you made by being there. that's the only influence you had on me that day. you keep giving me the chance to survive my own mistakes. thank you. i can't promise we won't end up here again. i can't promise i won't keep trying to protect you. all i can do is hope that you know i don't mean it as a slight on your capabilities (it isn't! i just care about you. even the strongest man alive should be loved by people who want to shield him from danger) and that you don't get tired of me being so reckless.

[overcaffeinated-creative]

Snippets from a never to be finished Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfic

Seriously, I went digging through my old files on the laptop I fixed and found some things. I give it a little polish to add some clarity and decided to post it.

“None of those points are suitable for an actual debate,” Bly pointed out, willing to martyr herself to cut this short. While organizing her thoughts she rushed to eat some of her chocolate ice cream. “Religious morals are subjective to the institutions that create them. Any points you bring up from such materials then present as facts are completely unsubstantiated.”

Dark eyes looked down to mourn the sundae she would not get to finish. Matilda planned to buy her another one later for this effort.

“Furthermore, those religious morals vary between individuals. What I believe and what you believe are not the same thing. Even all of the followers gathered beneath the umbrella of Elohim’s religion have different interpretations among themselves. How can you hold one higher than any other with the intent to apply it to the nation? If my holy texts claimed that the sky was green would that trump science? Does it mean everyone has to agree that the sky is green entirely because that is what my religion believes?”

“Anyone can look up and clearly tell it’s not green,” Rolanda shot back in the most matter of fact tones. “That would count as you being delusional instead of an actual question of morality. My point is how innately corrupt alchemy is. Everyone uses it to skip the natural order of things in hopes of getting ahead in their mortal lives. There’s not true rules for alchemy, no morals, or anything to rein it in. The entire thing is flawed and corrupt from the first application.”

Matilda eyes flitted to Karoline who was seated next to her. She appeared to be busying herself with the last of her ice cream cone instead of giving the debate any mind. In truth, she would be listening to the entire debacle. Rolanda threw all credibility to the wind yet again. All the two had left was to watch the rest of the train wreck unfold.

It was painfully apparent Bly had to fight off the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, she knocked the rest of her long ponytail over her shoulder. “Alchemy has rules and regulations just like all other sciences. We are scientists and do have advancements. Alchemy has innate rules with the biggest one being equivalent Exchange. How we apply our knowledge is the only thing that differs from other branches. We use transmutation circles and symbols to help analyze, deconstruct, and reconstruct our experiments. Beyond those laws, we have government regulations. Certain types of transmutation are forbidden and punishable if caught.”

“Who gets to make up those rules and enforce them? None of us common people are involved. Just those of you who practice and regulate it. I know they’ll cut their own some slack. If alchemy was just outlawed for everyone it would be prevent needless debates and wastes of life.” 

Matilda bit her lip to avoid cutting in before Rolanda’s next lines. They all knew what was coming next, Rolanda’s absolute favorite talking point: Human Transmutation.

“Who stops those who commit the sin of human transmutation? Elohim’s the only true creator in the world yet you alchemists spit in his face time and again. What stops people from perfecting that abomination? No one.”

“Those who have committed human transmutation stop themselves.” Matilda deadpanned while swirling her lemonade around the paper cup. Her brows furrowed as she fought back the ball of tension building up within her stomach. She was sick of having to defend herself and her likes against the zealotry of those around her. However, the corner of her mouth did turn up at Bly and Karoline’s stifled laughter. “Have you seen the after effects of a fully rebounded transmutation circle? I burnt half my hair off with a fire mishap. One for something like that kills those involved every single time.”

 -

-

-

Hands dropping, Rolanda tried to utter an apology but Matilda coldly cut her off. “Save it. I’m happy to know where I fucking stand with you now.” Full lips pressed into so thin of a line they all but disappeared. “Just pray for me like you seem so wont to do. Plead with your fictitious sky god to forgive my little heathen soul. Waste your time sending thousands of unheard and unanswered prayers in hopes of being absolved of your guilt.”

Fire raged in her as heat flooded her body at the gall of Rolanda so callously throwing the Ishvalan War into this. Quick to her feet, she picked up her cup and was forced to acknowledge the tremor in them. Her barely suppressed rage wanted to force its way out. Glancing at Karoline’s tear stained face broke her. Her cousin came back from that war physically whole but in pieces. There was worries his best friend, who came back the same, would off himself before it was over. Alchemists knew something was wrong with how Ishval happened. Even the young ones like themselves held pain awareness for just what their powers could be used to do. 

“Pray until your little heart bursts from how much you care. But, don’t you dare fucking tell me a single thing about it. Keep it to yourself along with your sermons. You can say whatever you want about alchemists but there’s one thing we do that your kind doesn’t: we actively show we give a damn. You can recite your scriptures and sing your hymnals all you want but it changes nothing. Your type pities the hungry, offers them hollow words, and then run along to your church feats. If they’re lucky they get your scraps. I want no part of your hypocrisy now or ever again.” Matilda turned on her heel then stormed with a pointed grace.

[matthenslee]

Anticipation, Preparation, Joy, and Jesus

It’s Christmas Eve. If you’re like us, just about all of the gifts have been wrapped and placed carefully under the tree in the hopes none of the dogs decide to get hungry for wrapping or tissue paper. Further, the smell of fresh-baked cookies fills the air and you’re about to lose count at how many times the kids ask, “Can we open our gifts yet?” Which is second only to “are we there yet” in sheer annoyance. 

The hustle and bustle that got us to this point has been a season of anticipation, preparation, and joy as we celebrate the most wonderful time of year – Christmas – as we remember and reflect upon the incarnation of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve written some short devotionals for the season and am bringing them all together in one post on this Christmas Eve. I hope they’re an encouragement to you as you gather with family and friends this week.

Anticipation...Mark 13:24-37

As we launch into this season of Advent, we enter into a season of anticipation.

Kids anticipate opening gifts, parents anticipate the pitter-patter of feet rushing to see what toys lie under the tree, and credit card companies anticipate sending a round of bills at the first of the year.

But it also begins a season of anticipation by reflection. We reflect on the incarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we also long for His return. As James R. Edwards puts it:

“The longing that things ought not to be as they are, and cannot be allowed to remain as they are, is essentially an eschatological longing.”

We need not look to the manger with an empty hope because we know Jesus would grow up, live perfectly, and go to the cross on our behalf.

Likewise, we need not look to the cross with an empty hope because we know Jesus would rise again three days later.

And that birthed a promise even better: He’s coming again.

We look forward to that day, the Great Day, when Jesus returns in glory, condemns evil, ends suffering, and wipes away every tear from our eyes. That glorious day when our Lord will gather His people, Christians, to Himself.

So, as you begin this time of anticipation, as you start to gather around people you love with endless Christmas parties and make your way through the hustle and bustle of this season—hit the pause button.

Pause and consider who was born in that manger.

Pray in thanksgiving He went to the cross and rose again.

Praise our Lord with a yearning for His return.

Proclaim these truths until He comes “in clouds with great power and glory.”

Preparation...Mark 1:1-8

When we reflect on the work of John the Baptist, we see a work of preparation.

Preparing the way by preparing hearts for Christ’s coming.

As John was unworthy, we’re unworthy, but we learn Christ didn’t come to provide a better way to live. No, He provided the way of salvation.

The way of salvation isn’t about a list of dos and don’ts we keep to earn a right standing with God. In fact, there’s nothing you can do to be made right with God.

Instead, it’s what Christ did on our behalf. After Jesus was born in Bethlehem, He lived a perfect life only to die a sacrificial death and rise again.

In exchange for our sinfulness, Jesus gives us His righteousness when we believe on Him for salvation. This is what Martin Luther called the “Great Exchange.”

Now, if you’re anything like our family, you’re beginning to wrap gifts. Thoughts and prayers go out to all of you during this trying time.

But do you know what? Our children, as awesome as they are, don’t deserve these gifts. We give them, however, because we love them.

Likewise, God loved us so much, as John says:

“He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).

So, during this time of Advent, prepare.

Prepare by forgiving others as you’ve been forgiven.

Prepare by welcoming others as you’ve been welcomed.

Prepare by proclaiming to others that Jesus came, died, and rose again.

Prepare them for His return by calling them to repent and believe.

Joy...Luke 2:8-20

When we reflect on the angels' announcement of glad tidings, we see how joy overcomes fear.

I remember the first Christmas when my wife and I had children. We'd answered a call from our foster care agency the week before Christmas to welcome three kids into our home for Christmas.

We suddenly had a one-year-old, a two-year-old, and a three-year-old. All at once. Yeah, there was undoubtedly some trepidation, but something melted away our fear: joy. Indescribable joy.

Would you take a moment to put yourself into the sandals of the shepherds? They were minding their own business when suddenly, an angel appeared right in front of them, overpowering the sounds of their flocks.

Luke tells us they were afraid, but the angels said, "Don't be!"

Yeah, right! An angel of the Lord was in from of them, and the glory of the Lord shown around them? You'd be scared, too!

But something melted away their fear: "Good news of great joy."

Why was this announcement able to quench their fear? This was the arrival of Jesus, who came to save His people from their sins by giving His life as a ransom for many (Matthew 1:21; 20:28).

And what did this once fearful, ragtag bunch of shepherds do? They ran off to become the first New Testament evangelists. The greatest news of all time has a way of melting away the greatest fears.

There are people around you who are likely worried, fearful, and wondering what the next year will bring. A lay-off? A crushing medical setback? Maybe even the loss of a loved one?

Tell them of the perfect love that casts out fear.

Teach them there truly is a reason for this season.

Talk to them about that reason—Jesus Christ.

Turn their eyes from gifts and parties to the Savior.

Jesus...Matthew 1:18–25

We know that Jesus came, and He’s coming again. Today we’ll do well to reflect on that immutable truth.

We know Jesus grew up under the scandal of Mary’s alleged sexual immorality, which only increased with growing accusations and insults until our Savior made the painstaking trek to the cross.

We miss out on the grandeur of the Christmas story when we don’t remember Good Friday and Easter. Likewise, we miss out on the grandeur of Good Friday and Easter when we don’t remember He’s coming again.

No, His death and resurrection were a work of indescribable redemption that grows louder and brighter until His return.

Until that Great Day, we have work to do.

As you put the finishing touches on the next few days, take a moment to consider who in your circle of influence hasn’t come to Jesus for forgiveness. We see at the beginning of Matthew’s Gospel an announcement that Jesus is Immanuel.

Guess what? Matthew's Gospel ends with the same assertion and promise: I am with you always.

If Jesus is with you, you’re called to be His ambassador.

Proclaim His truths until He returns “in clouds with great power and glory.”

Prepare by proclaiming to others Jesus came, died, and rose again.

Point your peoples' eyes away from just gifts and parties to the Savior who saves.

Preach the good news to all who’ll listen.

[chysgoda]

Let's talk about oaths

In which Art’imis loses her temper and Solkazgyl has a bad day

It was a nice day in Camp Dragonhead. A clear sky and warm sun brightened most moods and all the threats that they watched for were quiet. a good day to catch up on outdoor chores or just to feel like a person for half a bell. So one no begrudged the commander or the couple of Fortemps dragoons that had pounced on the opportunity to catch up when all of their schedules aligned on such a nice day.  

Dinadan noticed the group walking into the camp first. Art’imis he recognized first, her scale mail hauberk and white cloak had become as regular a sight as any of his brother and sister dragoons in the congregation. The other three he did not recognize at all. He elbowed Matthaios in the ribs to get the other dragoon to shut up for a moment. “Who are the foreigners with Art’imis?”

Haurchrfant leaned forward to get a better look. “That would be Lord Papashan and Captain Jenlyns of the Sultansworn they passed through here a few days ago. I do not know the Roegadyn however.”

Matthaios turned as well and frowned. Tension sparked off the group and it was obvious that the Hyru and Lalafel between Art’imis and the Roegadyn were keeping the pair apart. “Something’s going on there.”

“Indeed,” Haurchefant agreed. He rolled his shoulders back picking up the mantle of commander again. Matthaios and Dinadan glanced at each other as the fell into step with the Silver Fuller.  

The Au’ra paladin glanced their way and shook her head as their group approached the chocobo porter’s station near the main gates. She looked back down the the older lalafel walking next to her “which route will you return by?”

“Revenant’s Toll, There are still remnants of the 14th legion in Northern Thanalan that are causing trouble.” Papashan said easily. “Captain Jenlyns wants to assess if the Sultansworn can aid in the efforts there.”

Dinadan let out a relieved breath when Art’imis smiled with honest approval. “Field work will be good for them. Thank you for keeping an eye on things in Ul’dah for me Papashan.”

The lalafel waved off the thanks with a huff, “I kept an eye on things long before you were born welp.”

Art’imis chuckled fondly tension beginning to leave the line of her shoulders. “I shall pray to the Dawn Father and Halone that you and Captain Jenlyns have a safe journey.”

The roegedyn snorted in amusement, “nothing for an old teacher Art’imis?”

All the tension snapped back into the free paladin’s shoulders. Next to her Papashan pinched the bridge of his nose. Art’imis’ lips pulled back and up in what was technically a smile but reminded Dinadan more of hunting wolves. “Nothing other than to let you know that you’ve no need to visit Falcon’s Nest. I’ll keep an eye on Constaint.”

“It’s hardly a bother to -” the Roegadyn’s eyes narrowed at his fellow free paladin

Art’imis interrupted before he could finish, “Solkazgyl, Let me clarify what I mean. Do not come back. You’ve done enough, and more damage besides.”

“Poaching students is rather poor form Art’imis.”

“As is abandoning a student for the sake of theatrics. Shall we compare sins?”

Dinadan tensed when the roedadyn’s sword hand flexed and Art’imis shifted her shoulder in preparation of using her shield. The two Sultansworn noticed as well. Jenlyns stepped between the two Free Paladins. “We need to be moving on Solkazgyl.”

The Roegadyn ignored the Sultansworn captain and stepped to side so that line between himself and Art’imis was clear again. “He would have been fine without your interference.”

“If by fine you mean dead, than yes he would have been.” Art’imis snapped back. “You manipulated a child into seeking out a death cult whose standard battle strategy is to summon void sent!”

“It was merely a test of conviction, you were tested in the same way.” Solkzagyl waved a dismissive hand.

“Three moons between when you first put a blade his hand and when you abandoned him. Mylla wouldn’t have even let him spar with how little you showed him.” Rage made the Auri’s words sharp. If she’d been a dragoon Dinadan wouldn’t have been surprised to see dragonfire flicker along her skin. Her left hand hovered above the hilt of her sword on her right hip.

“Art’imis,” Haurchefant called firmly. Her head snapped around to him a hissed response half formed before her better sense checked her wrath and she snapped her jaw shut. The Fortemps knight held the younger woman’s eyes and she dropped her hand from the hilt of her sword and nodded an acknowledgment.

“Well now that some of us have thoroughly out stayed our welcome we shall be off.” Papashan said, dry as the Sangolii desert. “My apologies for the disturbance Ser Haurchefant.”

Dinadan kept his eyes on the Roegadyn as Matthaios stepped to the side leaving a space for the small paladin to join them. Solkzagyl frowned at Art’imis’ back as she turned away from him.

< He’ll provoke her, He wants the fight.> Gorebash whispered a warning.

“Art’imis,” the Roegadyn called out, “did you fight that duel in ernest?”

“No.” The Au’ra didn’t turn back to him when she spoke. The insult plain in her body language, he was not a threat to her and it was not worth the effort of turning and looking him in the face.  

“Ah, well I think I will certainly be back than. It would be a shame if the boy learned to apply himself unevenly.” The roegadyn’s weight shifted to the balls of his feet. “I’d have thought you would have learned better after what happened to the Sultana under you care.”  

Dinadan would always remember the aetheric copy of Art’imis’ shield flying towards Solkazgyl as being the first thing that happened even when nearly everyone moved at the same time. Both Jenlyns and Papashan rounded on the Roegadyn flushed with anger. Haurchefant reached out to hold back Art’imis as both he and Matthiaos pulled their lances from their backs. The Au’ra paladin ducked under the Fortemps knight’s arm and had her sword drawn and shield in place before she took her first full stride.

Solkzagyl took half a step back in preparation to catch a shield that became nothing but sparks of aether. He recovered well, but his sword had only just cleared its scabbard when Art’imis invaded his space. The keen edge of her blade slicing through the  silk and wool just under the bottom edge of his breastplate. She dragged the cut with her as she rushed by and it found flesh and blood. She was past him then, just a head of his retaliation, and into the snow fields on the other side of the gate.

Dinadan’s eyes locked on the gleam and flash of light on the edge of Art’imis’ blade and followed its arc as she turned herself back to face the gate. She brought the blade up before her almost like she was saluting an dueling partner, the light flashing and gleaming again as a snap of her wrist showed the flat of the blade and the ruby rivulets of blood that were pulled in from the edge of the blade to gather in the fuller crystal bright-  His dragon wrapped around his senses and pulled his attention away from the light playing on the blade, it was almost physically painful. <Do not be distracted!> Gorebash hissed. <That trick is not for you.>

He blinked and assessed the situation, at least half of the knights of Camp Dragonhead were unnaturally focused on the Au’ra paladin. Both Haurchefant and Matthiaos watched with thinking focus. The Silver Fuller frowned deeply his eyes darting from his people to the Free Paladins squaring up outside his gates. The Sultansworn also seemed to have resisted the aether light that still tried to pull at his focus. The old lalafel had thrown out an arm to keep Captain Jenlyns from stepping in. Solkazgyl stalked towards the smaller Paladin who kept the space between them, backing up to draw her opponent further away from the gates. The pull on Dinadan’s attention stopped abruptly and he wasn’t sure if it was distance or if Art’imis has simply stopped putting effort into whatever it was.

“Back to your posts!” Haurchefant barked at his men who were shaking off the effects as well. The Silver Fuller looked at the two dragoons who nodded and then he turned to the gate and trekked out after the dueling Paladins. The two Sultansworn feel into step with them.

The two fighters had closed the distance between them and begun to fight in earnest when the five of them got close enough to see and hear the fight clearly. Art’imis was lighter on her feet than the Roegadyn and had no hesitation about taking whatever shot was open to her, but she did not have the same mass to back up her strikes. It was unnerving watching the small woman take blows that would fell most of the Knights in the Congregation. It shouldn’t have been so disquieting, Dinadan had seen her take the full force of a dragons lashing tail on her shield and keep her feet.  But The shapes here were different here, Art’imis’ size made her look childlike in comparison to her opponent. It looked to much like a child being meanced. He picked up the pace just a bit-

“Stop!” Papashan called out with the authority of an old captain. He darted in front of their group to stop their forward motion.

“She can’t mean to-“ Jenlyns gasped and then darted forward to stop them as well.  Ahead of them Dinadan could have sworn he saw the name of the Furry tumble from the Auri’s lips as she deliberately dropped to one knee as if in prayer. White fire crashed to the ground in a solid circle. A pained and surprised shout rang out from inside the light.

When the light faded Art’imis was on her feet again. Solkzagyl’s chest heaved with pain and rage as he climbed back up from his knees. “You dare call her scorn down on me?!”

“Did you not wish to fight in earnest?” Art’imis snarled at him. “Is this not what you wanted? To face the Eikon Slayer and prove that it is you who should hold leadership among us all, Sultansworn and Free Paladin alike?”

The pair closed on each other again to focused on their wrath to pay any heed to outsiders. Captain Jenlyns grimaced everytime a blow hit home on either fighter. Haurchefant rested his hand on the hilt of his sword but had not yet drawn. Aether made the air reek with a smell like tin that was so strong Dinadan could taste it. Swords bounced and deflected off of shields that formed of aether while the blow was swinging in. His heart stopped for a beat when the Roegadyn caught Art’imis’ shield and swung it out away from her.  She let it go rather than be knocked off balance. Solkazgyl’s smirk was an ugly thing as he stepped back, mouth opened to offer a chance of surrender. Art’imis did not stop, with her right hand she gripped the blade of her sword halfway down from the hilt. She changed the grip of her left hand as she raced ahead and swung the hilt of her sword like a war hammer. The crossguard smashed into the first wound she’d laid on him. He choked on a gasp and staggered back but she kept with him plowing her shoulder into his side and taking advantage of the momentum the stager had started. The giant fell and she jumped to the side and stomped on the wrist of his sword arm. When the fingers spasmed she kicked the sword away.  She pressed the tip of her blade against the side of Solkazgyl’s throat.

She turned her head and spat blood into the snow. “Dawn Father forgive me, but you have found the absolute limit of my patience.”

The Roegadyn opened his mouth and Art’imis pressed the blade hard enough to almost break the skin. “No Solkazgyl, for once in your life you will listen. You preach endlessly about conviction and the importance of keeping oaths, but somehow you never take actual responsibility for those oaths. You throw one of the worst nights of my life in my face and dare to say that I lack conviction. Where was yours? Where were you when the Brass Blades and Crystal Braves seized the palace? Did you not swear to protect the house of Ul? Where were you when the wine was poured and I watched a sister claw at her throat trying to get air? Where were you when I was choking on the vapor of a silencing potion? Where were you when your brothers in the Sultansworn were attacked?”

Art’imis took a deep breath trying to contain her wrath. “Ever since Papashan put me on your trail I have found naught but confusion, fear, and death in your wake. Do you know how many were hurt by your damned theatrics? Do you know how many travelers fell prey to the cultists? Do you know how many knights of House Haillenarte were injured in the Sea of Clouds? You chose to let murders wander loose so that you could play your game. Did we both not swear our swords and shields in defense of innocents? Of those who could not shield themselves? So once again you are forsworn. For what? That you might teach the Sultansworn a lesson they already know far better than you?”

“Art’imis,” Haurcefant stepped closer to the woman. “You need to stand down.”  

Art’imis blinked realizing that there was a cut on Solkazgyl’s throat that was steadily trickling blood.  She sheathed her blade and crouched down so that she could snatch the winged circlet from Solkazgyl’s head and claim her prize. “Do not presume to interfere with what is mine again.”

No longer threatened by the closeness of Art’imis’ sword Solkazgyl sat up. “And you presume to claim all of Ishgard as your own?”

“Yes,” Art’imis spoke with a conviction and heat that reminded Dinadan of the white fire she’d called down. “Mine to protect, my sanctuary to maintain, my kith and kin to shield. You will not interfere with what is mine. Now leave, and do not darken my door again.”

Papashan had collected Art’imis’ shield and handed it back to her when she walked away from Solkazgyl.  The lalafel turned to the Commander of Camp Dragonhead. “Given the circumstances we would take no offense should you chose to assign guards to see us to your border without further incident.”  

“I do believe I will.” The Silver Fuller said flatly. “I trust you and Captain Jenlyns can keep your friend here until I send my men out?”

“Of course.” Papashan turned to consider Art’imis. He nodded to the circlet in her left hand. “I do believe that will look better on you. And since I rather think you bear the Fury’s favor already I will pray that your Dawn Father will take watch over your good sense.”

The free paladin flinched a little at the subtle reprimand of her loss of temper. Haurchefant rested a hand on Art’imis’ shoulder as they turned away from the Ul’dan group. The dragoons feel into step with them, closing ranks as they returned to camp dragon head.

Jenlyns watched realizing on some level he had taken for granted that Art’imis would one day return to call Ul’dah home, come back to the familiarity of training with his men between adventures or helping teach recruits at the Gladiators guild. “I did not realize how much I assumed she would return to Ul’dah once all was made right.”

Papashan glanced up when the Captain made the quiet confession.  Before looking back to the Ishgardians walking back into the safety of Camp Dragonhead. “Allegiance must run both ways to have any strength. The Warriors of Light gave Eorzea their faith and blood, the Eorzean Alliance repaid them with distrust and abandonment. If they’re needed they will come, it’s in their nature to. I do not think they’ll ever give us their trust again though.”

Silence fell until three knights wearing the colors of House Fortemps came out confirming Papashan’s words with finality.  

Notes

So I have lots of feelings about the 50-60 PLD questline, Frustration, Bafflement, and WTF mostly. So much about this line made me so mad. Among them just the straight up lack of sense the whole thing made and then the ingame admission of yea we know it’s stupid. Also the final duty was a serious let down? Like the duties with the Deaths Embrace required a lot more effort and then you get to Solkazgyl’s little tournament and he’s just not that hard a fight. Probably because the big blue jackass spends more time perfecting his dramatic entrances. Also it feels like Constaint is like stupid quick at picking up fighting skills given that the implication is that he hadn’t known Solkazgyl for that long before he “died”.    

Timeline wise I had the PLD quests done before I got to the great dravanian road trip so in my head this is all wrapped up before Alphinaud and Tataru get accused of heresy.

[austenwilliam]

In Wine There Is Truth (Paul Andrews x Wife! Reader)

Pairing: Paul Andrews (Between The Sheets) x Wife! Reader

Rating: Mild Swearing and Sexual References

Length: 1793 Words

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Between The Sheets, especially Paul (Played by the lovely, Richard Armitage). I do, however, own this story. This was written purely for entertainment purposes. I do not make any money from this, whatsoever.

Summary: Paul has been struggling with troubles at work. Little did he know he was bringing those problems home with him, affecting his wife too. Note: I know Paul is not married in the series but I used a bit of creative licence and made it so. I have only literaly just watched a couple of episodes, which I would highly recommend! This was requested by @hannibatchsmuse from this prompt list, posted by @rmeisel, using number 10. I hope you enjoy it my lovely! ——————–

“Anybody home?” Paul dropped his bag by the door, calling out in to the seemingly empty house.

Nothing.

That’s odd.

5pm. The house was usually buzzing with noise, the au pair running around after their daughter, or her son causing some sort of racket. On an average day he would be praying to any God available to hear him out for just an ounce of peace and quiet. Finally, his prayers had been answered and it didn’t quite sit right with him. Peaking down the hall he noticed a dim glow coming from the living-room. It was either (Y/n) or the au-pair had left the lights on again. He really had to tell her to make sure they were all off before leaving the house. Hanging his keys up, he made his way towards the gentle glow, a little cautious.

Upon entering the room, he noticed (y/n) sat in the armchair, cradling a glass of wine in her hand. His eyes flickered to the bottle that sat at the side of the chair, already half empty. Again? He thought. It had been the second time this week he had come home to her starting in to space, drinking until the alcohol tired her out. “(Y/n), didn’t you hear me?” He brought her attention to him. She had barely moved since he walked in, indicating that she hadn’t heard him. “(Y/n)?” He tried again. “Hmm?” She replied, turning to where his voice was coming from. She looked him up and then down, before looking back at the spot on the wall she had been focusing on for the past hour or so. “Where were you?” She enquired, her speech just a little slurred. “It doesn’t matter. Enjoying the wine again I see?” He didn’t intend for it to be passive aggressive, but she heard it that way; a half-hearted laugh escaping her lips. “Oh yes. It is definitely better company than you are at the moment.”

“What’s that supposed to mean and where are the children?” “You know exactly what it means and don’t worry; they’re in good hands. They’re at my mother’s.” She snapped, taking another - much larger - sip from her glass. “You know, alcohol isn’t an appropriate coping mechanism. It’s would be much easier to talk to someone.” He pointed out, although it fell on deaf ears; the last half at least. “What do you mean, ‘alcohol isn’t an appropriate coping mechanism’?” She laughed, sarcasm dripping from every note. “It’s working.” She finished the glass and got up, stumbling just a little. It was not that she was drunk. In her opinion she wasn’t drunk enough. No, she just stood up too quick - that’s all. He put out his arm to steady her, worried she’d fall, but he barely had chance before she moved out of his reach. “Don’t.” Her dilated hues sent him the most disgusted stare possible. “What the fuck is your problem, (Y/n)?” Finally, he had had enough. Enough of her taking whatever was on her mind out on him. Instead of just talking to him, she would constantly berate him, giving him riddles in hopes that he would figure out what the matter was. He couldn’t take it anymore. “You’ve done nothing but push me away recently, drowning your sorrows in wine and falling asleep downstairs.” “What’s the point sleeping in our bed anymore?” She started. “You don’t even notice when I am not there. You get in, you turn off the lamp and just go to sleep.” She grabbed the bottle, aiming to fill up her glass again, missing its contents.

Paul took the bottle from her and held it out of her reach. He wasn’t finished yet and he was determined to get to the bottom of whatever was eating at his wife. She scowled, protesting and demanding that he gave her back the bottle. “Not until you stop talking to me in riddles and tell me what the fuck is wrong!” “Fine!” She sighed, slamming her glass down on the table. “You want to know?” He nodded, hoping she would just get to the point. “We haven’t had sex in months! There. That’s what’s bugging me.” She folded her arms across her chest. Usually she would do her best to make sure her cleavage looked that little bit more appealing when she did, but it was no use - he no longer cared.

Paul opened his mouth but then closed it again. He was desperate to prove her wrong, but she had a point. They hadn’t had sex in quite a while. When was the last time we-? “Have I put on weight? Do I smell? What is it that has put you off me all of a sudden?” She rattled off a list of possibilities, trying to figure out how they had gone from hot to not – at all. Whilst they weren’t rabbits, their sex life was definitely above average for a couple with a young daughter and a teenage son. When people complained of not getting enough due to children and family responsibilities; (Y/n) and Paul would just laugh. There was never a problem, until recently.

“No, you’re still as beautiful as the day we met.” He reassured her, although his voice faltered a little. He was worried he would have to tell her what was really bothering him. It was not her, it was work. Lately a client of his had been getting a little to close, ignoring the protocol of keeping the relationship purely professional. Instead, she would constantly seek him out, asking him when he would take her on a date or spend some time with her. It wasn’t her fault. She was an alcoholic and had dependency issues. He was just concerned that she had started to attach herself to him. He had done his best to put her off, to tell her he was there to help her. He was married. Still, he felt like she had not heard any part of what he had said, trying her hardest to make a move on him. Without noticing, his worries had started coming home with him. Ultimately, it resulted in him ignoring his wife. So much that he hadn’t even noticed her sleeping downstairs more often. (Y/n) was an affectionate woman, always wanting to cuddle and be close to her husband; she craved physical intimacy. Yet, for the past couple of months he felt he couldn’t give her what she wanted.

“Then what is it? Paul, please tell me. If you’ve slept with someone else, then that’s fine. We’ll work through it.” She encouraged him to talk, hoping that opening a safe space for him to admit any indiscretions would get the ball rolling.   “No! Why would you think that, Jeez (Y/n)!” He felt his face flush with anger suddenly at her suggestion. 

“Well something’s bothering you and if you’re not going to tell me then maybe we should consider separating.” She dismissed him, tired. She was tired of dropping hints, hoping he would pick up on them and open up to her.

She tried her hardest to support him, to ignore the way he would always brush her off, each time she approached him. But, everyone had their breaking points and (Y/n) felt she had reached hers a long time ago.

“It’s clear you don’t trust me, Paul. I’m tired of trying to figure you out. Maybe we should just -” “It’s work!” He let out, finally telling her the problem for fear of losing her. He was a fool if he was about to let it get to the point of separation, if that was what she was about to suggest. He loved her, far too much to even entertain the thought. Just tell her, she’ll understand. So, he did. He took her hand and sat her down, sitting face to face, his hand never once letting hers go. To (Y/n) the smallest touch felt strange, her hand feeling lost in his.

Releasing a deep sigh, he closed his eyes for a second, gathering his thoughts and his courage. Feeling confident enough he began to tell his wife all about the troubles he was having at work, especially with one particular client, Jade. (Y/n) listened without interrupting, wanting him to finish and get everything off his chest. When he finally indicated he was done, she offered him a sympathetic smile. Any anger resulting from the wine has dissipated, leaving only empathy and concern. “Why didn’t you just tell me, love?” She placed her other hand over his, showing him a little affection she guessed he needed. “I would have supported you, instead of you carrying it all on your own shoulders.” “I know. I was stupid and I’m sorry. I should have talked to you.” His smile matched hers. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt lighter. Free of any burdens, even if it was only for a moment. “Can you forgive me?” “I guess I have to, I am married to you after all.” She tried at a joke, hoping it would make him laugh. “But, you do owe me. Big time!” She reminded him that his neglecting her would not go unpunished. “Name your price, my lady.” He chuckled, seeing his wife as herself for the first time in a while. “Hmm, how about a kiss?” (Y/n) suggested. “That would be a start.” Shuffling closer to her, their knees touching, his hand let go of hers to come and rest on the nape of her neck. His fingertips brushed gently over her soft skin, drawling small circles over her pulse. He loved the way she would gasp, reacting to even the smallest of touches. “I think I can grant you that, love.” He leaned in slowly, watching as her eyes closed. After months of barely any physical contact between them, he couldn’t bring himself to tease her, his lips claiming hers hungrily. From the second they locked together in a loving embrace, he moaned, tasting her on his tongue as they refamiliarized themselves with each-other. His aim was to take things slow and ease back in to intimacy with his wife, but from one kiss he felt it would be impossible. Her soft whimpers only coaxed him to touch her more, wanting to hear her purr with delight from his ministrations on her mouth, her body, her everything! Pushing the troubles to the back of his mind, for the time being at least, he focussed only on her for the rest of the evening. It was a good thing she had sent the kids to their grandparents for they struggled to make it to their room; making love on the sofa; two, three, four times - that night.

——————– @lairdofbrochtuarach @fizzy-custard @pixiedurango @patanghill17 @theincaprincess @nowiloveandwilllove @e-c-swing @nelswp @nellindreams

[dfroza]

we are all imperfect beings living in an imperfect world.

only grace cures this to truly heal the heart by giving it a new True nature of Light

(inside, Anew)

and this begins by knowing truth.

A set of lines from Today’s reading:

Pilate: So You are a king?

Jesus: You say that I am king. For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the cosmos: to demonstrate the power of truth. Everyone who seeks truth hears My voice.

Pilate (to Jesus): What is truth?

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 18th chapter of the book of John:

When Jesus finished praying, He began a brief journey with His disciples to the other side of the Kidron Valley, a deep ravine that floods in the winter rains, then farther on to a garden where He gathered His disciples.

Judas Iscariot (who had already set his betrayal in motion and knew that Jesus often met with the disciples in this olive grove) entered the garden with an entourage of Roman soldiers and officials sent by the chief priests and Pharisees. They brandished their weapons under the light of torches and lamps. Jesus stepped forward. It was clear He was not surprised because He knew all things.

Jesus: Whom are you looking for?

Judas’s Entourage: Jesus the Nazarene.

Jesus: I am the One.

Judas, the betrayer, stood with the military force. As Jesus spoke “I am the One,” the forces fell back on the ground. Jesus asked them a second time:

Jesus: Whom are you searching for?

Judas’s Entourage: Jesus the Nazarene.

Jesus: I have already said that I am the One. If you are looking for Me, then let these men go free.

This happened to fulfill the promise He made that none of those entrusted to Him will be lost. Suddenly Peter lunged toward Malchus, one of the high priest’s servants; and with his sword, Peter severed the man’s right ear.

Jesus (to Peter): Put down your sword, and return it to the sheath. Am I to turn away from the cup the Father has given Me to drink?

So the Roman commander, soldiers, and Jewish officials arrested Jesus, cuffed His hands and feet, and brought Him to Annas (the father-in-law of Caiaphas the high priest). You may remember that Caiaphas counseled the Jews that one should die for all people. Simon Peter and another disciple followed behind Jesus. When they arrived, Peter waited in the doorway while the other disciple was granted access because of his relationship with the high priest. That disciple spoke to the woman at the door, and Peter was allowed inside.

Servant Girl (to Peter): You are one of this man’s disciples, aren’t you?

Peter: I am not.

All the servants and officers gathered around a charcoal fire to keep warm. It was a cold day, and Peter made his way into the circle to warm himself.

Annas (to Jesus): Who are Your disciples, and what do You teach?

Jesus: I have spoken in public where the world can hear, always teaching in the synagogue and in the temple where the Jewish people gather. I have never spoken in secret. So why would you need to interrogate Me? Many have heard Me teach. Why don’t you question them? They know what I have taught.

While Jesus offered His response, an officer standing nearby struck Jesus with his hand.

Officer: Is that how You speak to the high priest?

Jesus: If I have spoken incorrectly, why don’t you point out the untruths that I speak? Why do you hit Me if what I have said is correct?

Annas sent Jesus to Caiaphas bound as a prisoner. As this was happening, Peter was still warming himself by the fire.

Servants and Officers: You, too, are one of His disciples, aren’t you?

Peter: No, I am not.

One of the high priest’s servants who was related to Malchus—the person Peter attacked and cut off his ear—recognized Peter.

High Priest’s Servant: Didn’t I see you in the garden with Him?

Peter denied it again, and instantly a rooster crowed.

Before the sun had risen, Jesus was taken from Caiaphas to the governor’s palace. The Jewish leaders would not enter the palace because their presence in a Roman office would defile them and cause them to miss the Passover feast. Pilate, the governor, met them outside.

Pilate: What charges do you bring against this man?

Priests and Officials: If He weren’t a lawbreaker, we wouldn’t have brought Him to you.

Pilate: Then judge Him yourselves, by your own law.

Jews: Our authority does not allow us to give Him the death penalty.

All these things were a fulfillment of the words Jesus had spoken indicating the way that He would die. So Pilate reentered the governor’s palace and called for Jesus to follow him.

Pilate: Are You the King of the Jews?

Jesus: Are you asking Me because you believe this is true, or have others said this about Me?

Pilate: I’m not a Jew, am I? Your people, including the chief priests, have arrested You and placed You in my custody. What have You done?

Jesus: My kingdom is not recognized in this world. If this were My kingdom, My servants would be fighting for My freedom. But My kingdom is not in this physical realm.

Pilate: So You are a king?

Jesus: You say that I am king. For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the cosmos: to demonstrate the power of truth. Everyone who seeks truth hears My voice.

Pilate (to Jesus): What is truth?

Pilate left Jesus to go and speak to the Jewish people.

Pilate (to the Jews): I have not found any cause for charges to be brought against this man. Your custom is that I should release a prisoner to you each year in honor of the Passover celebration; shall I release the King of the Jews to you?

Jews: No, not this man! Give us Barabbas!

You should know that Barabbas was a terrorist.

The Book of John, Chapter 18 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 8th chapter of the book of Ecclesiastes that ponders wisdom and the meaning of life:

Teacher: How rare to find one who is truly wise,

one who knows how to interpret this or solve that!

Wisdom brightens the countenance of the face,

and softens hard lines etched in the face.

Here’s my advice: keep what comes from the king’s mouth; after all, this matter is really an oath from God. Don’t be in a hurry to leave the king’s presence or throw your support behind a bad cause, because the king can do whatever he wishes. Since the king has the power to enforce his word, who dares ask him, “What are you doing?” Whoever does what the king commands will stay out of trouble, and the wise heart will figure out the proper time and proper way to proceed. Yes, there is a time and a way to deal with every situation, even when a person’s troubles are on the rise. For no one knows what is going to happen, so who can warn him before it does? No one can master the wind and contain it—it blows as it will. No one has power over the day of death—it comes as it will. No soldier is discharged in the heat of battle, and certainly wickedness will not release those entangled in it. I have witnessed all of this as I have focused my attention on all that is done under the sun: whenever one person oppresses another to lift himself up, it only hurts him in the end.

I have witnessed the wicked buried with honor because during their lifetimes they would go in and out of the temple, and soon their crimes were forgotten in the very city where they committed them. This, too, is fleeting. When the penalty for a crime is not carried out quickly, then people start scheming to commit their own crimes. Although a wicked person commits a hundred sins and still lives a long life, I am confident it will go better for those who worship the one True God and stand in awe before Him, and it will not go well for the wicked nor will their days grow long like evening shadows because they do not stand in awe of God.

Here is another example of the fleeting nature of our world: there are just people who get what the wicked deserve; there are wicked people who get what the just deserve. I say this, too, is fleeting. And so I heartily recommended that you pursue joy, for the best a person can do under the sun is to enjoy life. Eat, drink, and be happy. If this is your attitude, joy will carry you through the toil every day that God gives you under the sun.

When I applied myself to the study of wisdom and reflected on the kinds of tasks that occupy people’s attention on earth, I noticed how little sleep they generally get, whether day or night. I saw all the works and ways of God, and it became clear to me that no one is able to grasp fully this mystery called life. Try as we might, we cannot discover what has been done under the sun. Even if the wise claim to know, they really haven’t discovered it.

The Book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 8 (The Voice)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Thursday, may 27 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons that looks at the condition of the heart:

Some of the sages have called this week's Torah portion (i.e., Beha'alotekha) "Sefer Kvetch," the Book of Complaint, since the first stage of the journey back to the Promised Land was marked with murmuring, ingratitude, and fantasies about the "good old days" when the people ate "free fish" in Egypt, and so on. The repeated episodes of complaining really were a form of rebellion against God's leadership, as the people blasphemously charged the LORD with folly, incompetence, or even malice ("Why did God take us out of Egypt - to kill us all in the desert?"). Indeed, the spiritual condition of the people was so bad that they were all doomed to die in the desert. The New Testament later identifies the unbelief of the people as a picture of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit (Heb. 3:7-4:6).

Often the Israelites appeared to behave like spoiled children, demanding “real food” and fussing over the miraculous supply of bread that literally came from heaven... It would be funny were it not so tragic: Despite all the miracles the people had directly experienced during the great Exodus - including the tremendous revelation at Sinai - in a little over a year the memory of Egypt had become positively euphoric, and the people “forgot” how degrading their lives were as slaves... They romanticized the way things were, rationalizing that it wasn’t “that bad,” and so on. They savored the taste of their “free fish...”

Therefore a central commandment of this Torah portion is: “Thou Shalt Not Kvetch” (or, put positively, “Thou Shalt be Grateful”). "The deeds of the fathers are signs for the children," and therefore we are sternly warned not to follow the example of those who were redeemed by God’s outstretched hand but who later drew back in fear and unbelief: "I swore in my wrath, 'They shall not enter my rest.' Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Messiah if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. As it is written, "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion" (Heb. 3:11-16).

The price for Israel's unbelief was great.... The narrative of Torah was supposed to have ended after the Exodus generation left Sinai to enter the Promised Land with the completed Tabernacle... Unfortunately, things did not work out that way, and "sefer kvetch" begins with Numbers chapter 11. According to the Talmud, the scribes marked this "unhappy ending" by putting an "inverted Nun" before and after Numbers 10:35-36 to mark a break in the (ideal) narrative. What should have been written (beginning with chapter 11) was the "happy ending," namely, that the redeemed Israelites successfully entered the land because they kept faith in the LORD's promises. In other words, the account of the sin of the spies, the apostasy at Kadesh Barnea, the exile of the Exodus generation, etc., should never have happened. The sages said that marking the text this way affirms that what should have been written (as the happy ending) will one day be so written, after the Messiah comes to finally deliver the Jewish people. For more on this subject, see the article, “The Seven Books of Moses” on the H4C site. [Hebrew for Christians]

5.26.21 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

May 27, 2021

Never Too Late

“And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:42-43)

One of the two thieves on the cross continued in unbelief right up until the time he died (Luke 23:39), but the second repented and believed unto salvation. The one assures us that no one need despair, since it is always possible to accept Christ at any time before death. The other warns us, on the other hand, that no one should presume. Long-continued rebellion against God is likely to become so fixed in one’s character that sincere repentance may become impossible.

The repentant thief, beholding Christ and hearing the first of the seven so-called “words from the cross” (Luke 23:34), came to believe that Jesus truly was Lord and that He could, indeed, grant forgiveness and salvation.

The penitent thief had no opportunity to be baptized, to change his lifestyle, or to do anything whatever except repent, believe on Christ, and confess his faith (Romans 10:9-10). And that was sufficient!

Both thieves would die that day, and the soul of the unrepentant thief would soon descend into Hades, there to await condemnation at the future judgment day. The other, because of his trust in Christ, would go with Him to paradise.

The tragedy is that far too many people, assuring themselves that it is never too late, keep waiting until it becomes forever too late! “Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth” (Proverbs 27:1). The overwhelming majority of people who come to trust in Christ for salvation do so when they are young. Very few come to the Lord when they are old or about to die. “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6:2). HMM

A set of email messages from Glenn Jackson:

May 27th

IDENTIFICATION

[part 4 of 15]

We Died With Him

* Jesus died twice on the cross. I knew this for many years, but I had no scriptural evidence of it. One day I discovered Isaiah 53:9, the answer to my long search. "And they made his grave with the wicked, and with a rich man in his deaths." The word "death" is plural in the Hebrew.

Many of you who have Bibles with marginal renderings will notice it. That is, Jesus died two deaths on the cross: He died spiritually before He died physically. In John 10:18 He said that no one could take His life from Him. He could not be killed; He could not die. Why? Because His body was not mortal.

Jesus had a body like Adam's before he sinned. It was a perfect, human body, not Mortal, nor Immortal. It was a body that could not die until sin had taken possession of His spirit.

In other words, Jesus had to die spiritually before He could die physically.

If Jesus' body had been like yours and mine, then He was not Deity, He was not a Substitute, and He did not die for our sins; He merely died as a martyr. But, if He had a body like the first man Adam's body, that was not Mortal, not subject to death, (that would mean subject to Satan) then He was Deity.

In our last chapter we saw man nailed to the cross with Christ. In this we see the human race died with the Crucified One. Paul says, "If we died with Christ, we believe we shall also live with Him." Romans 6:8 and 2 Timothy 2:11. In these scriptures we notice we died with Christ when He died.

He was our Substitute. We were one with Him on the cross. We were one with Him in His death. He died under our judgment, in our stead. He died because He was made sin.

If we accept Him, there can be no judgment for us.

Isaiah 53:10-12

"Yet it pleased Jehovah to bruise him; he bath made him sick: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of Jehovah shall prosper in his hand. He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by the knowledge of himself shall my righteous servant justify many; and he shall bear their iniquities.

Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he poured out his soul unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors: yet he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."

That sounds just like the Pauline Revelation, doesn't it?

May 24th

IDENTIFICATION

[part 1 of 15]

He Was Made Sin

In the great drama of our Redemption, as soon as Christ was nailed to the cross, with His crown of thorns, and with the howling mob that surrounded Him, justice began to do its awful work behind the scenes. Sense-Knowledge men and women who surrounded the cross could only see the physical man, Jesus, hanging there.

God could see His spirit. Angels could see His spirit. Demons could see the real man, hidden in that body. Then came the dreadful hour when 2 Corinthians 5:21 was fulfilled.

"Him who knew no sin he made to be sin on our behalf; that we might become the righteousness of God in him."

Isaiah 53:5 "He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and Jehovah hath laid on him the iniquity of us all."

On that awful cross, He not only became sin, but He became a curse, for in Galatians 3:13 it tells us, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us; for it is written, Cursed is everyone that hangeth on a tree." (The word "us" there refers to the Jews).

He came as a Jew under the First Covenant to redeem all those who were under that Covenant from the curse of the Law. When He was hanging on the cross, He was not only sin, but He was a curse. Is it any wonder that God turned His back upon Him? Is it any wonder He cried in His agony, "My God, my God, why halt thou forsaken me?"

He had taken the sinner's place in judgment. All the forces of darkness had overwhelmed Him. He was our sin Substitute. Sin was not reckoned to Him. Sin was not set to His account. He became sin. Our Senses reel under the staggering thought of it. We cannot grasp it. Only our spirits can fathom the depths of His agony. You can hear Paul cry, (Philippians 3:10) "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming conformed unto his death."

Paul's prayer amazes one. He wanted to share in the death-agonies of Christ. He wanted to fellowship His sufferings. But Paul could not do that. No one could do it. No angel could do it. It was God's own work that must be wrought. When He surrendered His Son to death, He unveiled a love that beggars description.

[theghostpinesmusic]

On the Weird Melancholy of the Holiday Season

“It’s been awhile since I’ve written something that wasn’t a) for work or b) song lyrics. But, I finished work an hour early today for what feels like the first time in 2020, and so what the hell. Let’s talk about The Inevitable(?) Sadness of the Holiday Season!

I’ve been thinking about this subject a lot lately because, well, for pandemic reasons, political reasons, economic reasons, etc. (really, take your pick, or even mix and match!) this holiday season has been the hardest, darkest, and saddest of many people’s lives. I’ve also been thinking about it a lot because of this video, which you should probably watch instead of reading the rest of whatever I’m about to write:

If you watched the video and are still reading, thanks! If you didn’t watch the video, in short: it explores the melancholic feeling that many of us feel around the holidays through the lens of Christmas music. And, since music is the thing I use to try to understand most of what I experience of the world, it really spoke to me. Then, I fed that feeling a bunch of caffeine and started slapping the keyboard! Here we goooooooooooo--

Okay, I mean, sure, this year might be a particularly rough one, but at least in terms of music, the holidays have always been at least a bit melancholic. Sure, you’ve got your “Jingle Bells,” (not even originally written about Christmas) and your “All I Want For Christmas (Is You)” (pop music written to make money), but on the other hand, you’ve got “White Christmas” (sad), “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” (sadder), “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” (the original lyrics are *dark*), and my favorite Christmas record A Charlie Brown Christmas, which, while evocative, is mostly instrumental versions of particularly sad holiday songs (”Greensleeves” is a song a morbidly depressed Taylor Swift might have written had she lived in the 16th century). And I personally feel like that sadness permeates the Charlie Brown soundtrack: after all, it’s not as if Charlie’s story is, generally speaking, a particularly uplifting one. Then there’s Joni MItchell’s “River,” which is...*sigh*...let’s just not talk about it.

I would argue that this music isn’t the cause of holiday melancholia, but rather a result of it. The holidays are the time of year when we’re all supposed to come together, agree to be the ideal versions of ourselves we spend the rest of the year failing to be, eat good food, shower each other with gifts, and, if we’re lucky, not have to go to work for a few days. And, most years at least, I get to do all of those things, and it’s great. But...it’s also sad? Somehow?

Well, I can’t speak to the genesis of anyone else’s holiday melancholy, but I have Some Thoughts. First: if you celebrate Christmas in particular, I think it’s important to note that it is a distant descendant of the Roman festival of Saturnalia. Old-school Saturnalia was, in one sense, one of those good old ancient Roman thrown-downs, where the social order was inverted, slaves were served by their masters, everybody got hella drunk, and, presumably, Santa Claus circled above the Italian peninsula all night long waiting for someone to invent a chimney he could fit down.

In another sense, though, Saturnalia was an acknowledgment of the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. It was a festival of lights held in defiance of the dark, a collective societal prayer for the return of the sun, the return of spring and summer, and, of paramount importance, the return of the growing season before everyone starved to death. Though of course there are a lot of variations on this theme, such holidays (not parties, but literally “holy days”) existed and continue to exist throughout the world, to mark the time of year when things are darkest, and to motivate people to come together to stave off that darkness with light, whether that light be candle flames, strings of LED bulbs, or a simple show of kindness to a person in need.

Understanding the holiday season, and Christmas in particular through this history has been really helpful to Adult Me. I was raised as a Lutheran and attended church until I moved away from home to attend college, but pretty quickly decided that organized religion wasn’t really for me as soon as the social pressure to participate in it was removed; and that’s not to say that organized religion is de facto bad or wrong, just that it wasn’t really for me, though it might be for others, and that’s fine.

I’ve been careful to refer to “the holidays” in this post instead of “Christmas” when possible, to acknowledge that this time of year means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, but if you’re reading this as an American, you are absolutely aware of the connection between Christmas as A Thing Americans Do and Christianity, even if not everyone who celebrates Christmas is a Christian. In my younger adult years, newly separate from the religion I had grown up with, I had a really hard time squaring the “gather ‘round the hearth” ethos of Christmas and all the highs and lows of emotion that come with that with the subtext that the whole thing was to mark the birth of Jesus Christ: did I even have a right to have Christmas Feelings anymore if I was now, for all intents and purposes, a dirty heathen?

Back then, learning about Saturnalia and other traditions that have existed and still exist worldwide around the winter solstice helped me to understand the holiday season not as something that was *necessarily* tied to a particular religious tradition, but instead as something that was more universally human, and that had just happened to be presented to Young Me through the particular lens of Christianity.

It’s not exactly popular, post-Enlightenment, to suggest that we are fundamentally tied to, and dependent upon, the rhythms of earth, and yet it seems as if everyone feels this one thing, to a greater or lesser degree: as the middle of summer intrinsically feels like a time of carefree prosperity, the middle of winter intrinsically feels like a time to batten down the hatches, to gather ‘round the fire for warmth, and to wait with bated breath for summer to come around again. This might “simply” be the shorter days, or the colder temperatures, or it could be something more profound or complex, but the existence of the holiday season, I would suggest, proves that we feel it.

So, that brings me back to the holiday season and melancholy.

I love Christmas. Even as a dirty heathen, it’s my favorite holiday of the year. I love the lights. I love putting up a Christmas tree. I love the songs (even the sad ones). Everyone really is a little nicer (unless you’re at the mall). I love playing in the snow. I love sledding. I love going home to visit my family, because it’s often the only time each year that I get to see them. But I also love Christmas because it’s hard to imagine the winter solstice without it. I could make it through summer without the Fourth of July. October without Halloween would be a little boring, but whatever. Thanksgiving could disappear tomorrow and, for the most part, the only thing I’d miss would be gaining five pounds at the end of November every year. I’m not sure what December would be like without Christmas to look forward to. I’m not sure how January first would feel without a New Year’s Eve to impart the promise of better days to come. But I don’t like to think about it.

I think the holiday season means so much to so many people precisely because seven hours of sunlight a day is not enough. Because the temperatures plummet as soon as the sun falls below the horizon. Because the snow piles up. Because all the trees and plants have lost their leaves and the wolves are (figuratively) at the door. We modern humans try to dissociate ourselves from the rhythms of the natural world, because they’re inconvenient, or because they’re inconsiderate, or because they cut into our profit margins...but we know all of this, on some level, every year when December comes around.

December is the end of something, and at the end, we understandably hope for a new beginning. The Christmas lights, the presents, the travel to get home for the holidays: it’s all an expression of that hope, the hope that we’ll win out against the darkness. And we do. For awhile. But never forever. And I think that’s where the melancholy comes from, at least for me.

The holidays exist because the melancholy exists; not the other way around. Joy and sadness intermingled. I think it will always feel that way for me this time of year. And I think that’s okay, because in a sense, that makes the holiday season the most human time of all: when our backs are to the wall, our instinct isn’t to run, or lash out, it’s to band together, to reconnect, and do everything we can to help each other get through. And I find that to be a truly comforting expression of humanity confronting its own finitude.

[lightamidstthestorm]

how He called me for the first time

For some reason that’s probably beyond me, I’ve been telling myself the story of my Faith for a few days now. I don’t know if there’s a reason behind it, if God wants me to talk about it for some reason - but I feel called to write about it and post it here. I’m learning not to question what I think might be His plan, so here we go. Part 1.

This is a very long account on how I felt Jesus calling me for the first time ever. Excuse any grammar mistakes - I’m too lazy to go and check whatever I just wrote.

I was raised Catholic, going to a Catholic school since the age of 5. I grew up hearing about God, about Jesus. I took the first Communion at... 8? 9? and went to Mass once or twice a year, at school.

I’m torn on how I felt about God, though. On one hand, I remember feeling like I believed more than my classmates, and on the other, I also know I already (from the age of 13 or 14 I guess?) had problems with the Church, saying things like why is the Vatican so rich if Jesus tells us to sell our stuff - and if people are literally starving? 

He started showing Himself more to me at 15. V randomly I see now, a woman I knew recommended me a book about angels, by a catholic author from my country. I read it - and read the other 15 books he had, because I was marveled. I learnt so much there - about angels at first, but then about Christianity, about Jesus, about miracles, and so on. 

That same year, a group of actors that belonged to a Movement in the Catholic church (”The Movement of the Word of God”) came to perform to our school, and they went classroom by classroom inviting us to join them, acting or helping put together the play. I remember I wrote my name down but never actually showed up. After the play happened, though, and for reasons I don’t understand now since I was even more socially awkward then than I am now, I did join them. I don’t remember if I liked the play that much or what, but I conviced a friend to go with me and go to one of their meetings.

They were a group of 20 young people that got together on mondays to practise (they were doing the life of St. Francis at the time), and everything was very chill and relaxed - it was just a group of friends. There was praying at the end and the beginning of the meetings - my first actual praying experience beyond reciting the Lord’s Prayer every morning.

I felt good there. It felt nice to be surrouded by people that believed in God too, people who talked about him. I remember at the end of every meeting, we’d sit in a circle to talk about what we’d done, what we’d learnt and what we thought God was trying to show us, and then pray - and I couldn’t shake the image of Jesus sitting down cross-legged in the middle of that circle (”where two or three gather in my name there am I with them”).

Half a year later, Easter came, and me and the other guys from my school that had also joined the group were invited to the Easter retreat the Movement organized. It’s basically an  retreat during Holy Week, that anyone can take part in - and not an overnight thing, so we’d go home after each day and come back early the next day.

It was crazy.

I remember before the day came I asked one guy at the group what it was like, what we’d do. He simply said “you’ll get close to Jesus”. And boy, was he right.

I was only going to take part in the first day, Thursday, because I volunteered at two dog shelters at the time and was going to visit them on Friday and Saturday. As soon as Thursday finished I knew there was no way I wasn’t gonna be there for the rest of it.

It literally began with a... sermon? centered around when Jesus called Peter. “Follow me and i will make you fishers of men.” “ And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him “ I instantly felt He was talking to me, and thus decided to dith everything I had planned for that weekend and stay there. 

That night, I had a weird dream that I was in the church (the retreat took place in a school that’s connected to a huge church, to which of course we had access to) - but I guess I was half awake, because I remember being aware of the fact that I was laying down and thinking “I can’t sleep here” - and I’d sit up in my bed. Then of course I’d feel really tired because it was in fact like 3am lol and I’d lay back again - only to sit up again and keep praying. It was very, very vivid - so imagine our surprise when, on that second day of retreat, a girl that had joined the acting group almost at the same time as me and who I had became friends with told me she’d had the same dream. An older member of the Movement told us he thought it might be we felt so comfortable at that church we somehow came back - and I do feel it can be the case.

Anyways, Friday. The Cross.

It was absolutely crazy and wonderful.

As I said, I grew up hearing about Jesus. Jesus is the Son of God, Jesus loves us, Jesus died for our sins. 

But noone actually bothered in explaining why or how. I loved Jesus, and I didn’t question anything, but now I realize I had no idea of anything regarding him - how did the death of a guy 2000 years ago save me? What did it have to do with my sins?

Well, the “sermon” that day basically explained that to me, and I remember everything made sense for the first time. We talked about the Cross, about our personal crosses, and it was overally amazing. Of course, with the understanding of the Cross began the realization that an actual person had gone through all that calvary because of me. Someone loved me enough to be crucified for me. It was an epiphany.

After each sermon, we’d pray - and in that group prayer, we sang a song that literally changed my life. It’s name in English would be “Nobody loves you like I do” and you guessed it, it’s like it was sung by Jesus. The lyrics are beautiful and I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure that Jesus was talking to me. (I’m tearing up just remembering it). The full song is here but it begins with “How much I've waited for this moment; how much I've waited for you to be like this; how much I've waited for you to talk to me; how much I've waited for you to come to me”. Keep in mind I had just understood how much he truly loves me and how real he was like fifteen minutes before - and you can probably get an idea of how I felt in that moment. 

After each “sermon” and group prayer we’d have half an hour to go meditate and pray on our own, and I’d always choose to go to the church. That time, I remember looking at the Cross and just thinking that’s an actual thing that happened, that’s a real human being that went through all that pain for me and man, it was crazy.

That same Friday, during luch, someone told me I should watch the Passion. I say I didn’t want to, because I’d never been able to. Still, that night, I decided to sit down at my computer and try - and I remember as soon as it started I thought “oh, wouldn’t it be nice if they were showing this on TV so I could watch it in a bigger screen”.

Guess what happened next. Yeah, I stood up, turned on the TV and found the movie at almost the exact part I’d paused it. I guess He did want me to see it, with these new eyes I’d just gotten.

Saturday was more chill than Friday, there was this cheerful mood around because we were all waiting for the Resurrection!! and it was also the day where He confirmed me he wanted me to ditch everything and follow him.

Thing is, this Movement has a “system” of communities - praying groups that get together once a week to pray and to receive... I guess you can call them sermons? Cathechism lessons? The idea is to walk your Faith with others and learn more about it. There’s “levels”, and the Initiation 1 group is open until Pentecost, then it closes and the community or group that was formed stays like that until... well, forever, if you don’t choose to leave.

By then, I was considering the idea of joining it. But the meetings were on Saturdays, and Saturdays were the only day I could go to this dog shelter - something I’d been doing for more than four years at the time. Joining the group meant letting go of that. 

After the “sermon”, and when we had our private praying moment, I asked Him what to do. I asked if I He wanted that for me, to join that group. I asked Him for a sign, because I didn’t know what to do.

I finished my prayer and went downstairs to join everyone for lunch.

Immediately after we said Grace, and before I could even start eating - the same guy from the theater group that had told me I’d “get closer to Jesus” randomly approached me and said “come with me for a second, I have something for you.” He led me to the room where his community got together for the sermons and activities, took a brand new notebook out of his backpack and giving it to me, said “this is for you to write down and record your ‘process’” (process was a word we’d use when talking about our walking with Jesus - that’s the best way I can explain it).

There we go, there’s your sign.

I wasn’t particularly close to this guy. I was still new to the group, he quite older than me and we’d probably talked four times altogether - and yet he felt like getting a notebook, decorating it with some Bible verses and giving it to me.

That’s how it started for me. That’s how I first heard Him call me.

I still failed Him, and He had to call me twice more, but those are stories I’m gonna write about later.

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday ... and an extended warranty

Tonight's MySwitchWorks Event

Next Live Call is TONIGHT at 7:30pm EDT

We’re celebrating Independence Day all month long by FREEING you up from what’s holding you back!!!

Freedom from pain, stuckness, overwhelm, excess weight, uncertainty, procrastination, negative self-talk & beliefs, bad habits, past failures, your boss, a bad relationship, parents, siblings, abuse by others?

What are you ready to give up & become independent from? What’s been haunting you that you're ready to be done with? for good! Join us LIVE & submit your 3 issues by 3pm Eastern TODAY! We've been getting a flood of responses and requests since Monday so thank you all for your participation. It's going to be another great call with everyone!

Register Now - $22

TGIWednesday News

Ok, for those that did not catch the pun yet, there is no extended warranty on sessions!   I cannot make it up.  I have had plenty of clients over the years that have had ailments or issues for decades and they schedule 15 minutes with me and weeks later they are shocked that all and everything bad has not completely and utterly gone away.  Often I believe things can leave us as fast as they were set upon us. But like any doctor, lawyer or Indian chief, I never know what will happen.  Ultimately it depends on the client and their blocks and how attached they are to their issues.  You would be shocked at the things that people don’t want to release.  It’s as if their body is hoarding these issues and they would not know what they would do in their spare time without them!  Just know that it may take some time and effort but I am making every effort to push forward and make the rest of our lives the best of our lives and I am determined to make progress every day and so should you! For anyone who has purchased audios, offers or certification in the past, be on the lookout in your inbox Monday August 3rd for our VIP 48-hour presale of our newest audio mp3 release MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark, aka 'The Creatives'. This is for those of you who are artists, musicians, performers, writers, intuitive healers and empaths and it can assist you in getting unstuck, releasing brain fog and getting your creative juices flowing again! The official launch will be in next Wednesday's TGIW for all!

TGIWednesday Download

~ FREEDOM FROM BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ~

I am asking for independence from people, places and things taking advantage of us. I believe, think, know and feel that I can say No! and mean it. I am ready, willing and able to take the wheel and live with confidence in my destiny.  I know, when, where, how and why to make progress every day and to always push forward with grace and ease and so it is in all languages and throughout all time lines!  

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 29th "Today no matter how dark the clouds, I will be reminded that this too shall pass. I will live in resonance with blissful expectation that the best can and will occur.  I will keep the faith and all positive, people, places and things moving forward in faith.  I will allow spirit to shift my relationships into a new beginning and into a better level of understanding."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TOMORROW! Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.    Join Us and Watch Online!  If you have time for a quick and amusing read, check out little nice little interview I did with Sasha at Kreative Circle. https://www.kreativecircle.com/jimmy-mack.html Wednesday August 5th - 4pm ET - Spiritual Insights with host Charlotte Spicer Listen Here Online  - Taking LIVE callers for readings and messages ☎️ (347) 934-0751  

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

NEW VIDEO FORMAT! WATCH IT LIVE  TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT AS OF NEXT TUESDAY AUGUST 1st  All of the radio shows will be live video shows. You can now write in during the LIVE CHAT with your questions and we'll get to as many as we can (no phone calls) You can watch on Facebook or YouTube links below:   https://facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions   https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldylocksProductions Or catch all the replays & archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/ Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Listen here once posted.

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR AUGUST

August 4th – Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

From the Fish Box

"Just receiving emails from you makes my heart swell with love and hope!!!! I feel so blessed to know you!!!  Thank you so much for your prayers and all you do for all of us!" - Rosemary S.

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday ... and an extended warranty

Tonight's MySwitchWorks Event

Next Live Call is TONIGHT at 7:30pm EDT

We’re celebrating Independence Day all month long by FREEING you up from what’s holding you back!!!

Freedom from pain, stuckness, overwhelm, excess weight, uncertainty, procrastination, negative self-talk & beliefs, bad habits, past failures, your boss, a bad relationship, parents, siblings, abuse by others?

What are you ready to give up & become independent from? What’s been haunting you that you're ready to be done with? for good! Join us LIVE & submit your 3 issues by 3pm Eastern TODAY! We've been getting a flood of responses and requests since Monday so thank you all for your participation. It's going to be another great call with everyone!

Register Now - $22

TGIWednesday News

Ok, for those that did not catch the pun yet, there is no extended warranty on sessions!   I cannot make it up.  I have had plenty of clients over the years that have had ailments or issues for decades and they schedule 15 minutes with me and weeks later they are shocked that all and everything bad has not completely and utterly gone away.  Often I believe things can leave us as fast as they were set upon us. But like any doctor, lawyer or Indian chief, I never know what will happen.  Ultimately it depends on the client and their blocks and how attached they are to their issues.  You would be shocked at the things that people don’t want to release.  It’s as if their body is hoarding these issues and they would not know what they would do in their spare time without them!  Just know that it may take some time and effort but I am making every effort to push forward and make the rest of our lives the best of our lives and I am determined to make progress every day and so should you! For anyone who has purchased audios, offers or certification in the past, be on the lookout in your inbox Monday August 3rd for our VIP 48-hour presale of our newest audio mp3 release MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark, aka 'The Creatives'. This is for those of you who are artists, musicians, performers, writers, intuitive healers and empaths and it can assist you in getting unstuck, releasing brain fog and getting your creative juices flowing again! The official launch will be in next Wednesday's TGIW for all!

TGIWednesday Download

~ FREEDOM FROM BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ~

I am asking for independence from people, places and things taking advantage of us. I believe, think, know and feel that I can say No! and mean it. I am ready, willing and able to take the wheel and live with confidence in my destiny.  I know, when, where, how and why to make progress every day and to always push forward with grace and ease and so it is in all languages and throughout all time lines!  

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

  JULY 29th "Today no matter how dark the clouds, I will be reminded that this too shall pass. I will live in resonance with blissful expectation that the best can and will occur.  I will keep the faith and all positive, people, places and things moving forward in faith.  I will allow spirit to shift my relationships into a new beginning and into a better level of understanding."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TOMORROW! Thurs. July 30th - Your Divine Uniqueness with host Moncef Akfir.  Join Spiritual Masters FREE For Live & Interactive Sessions, Plus Receive Instant Bonuses. Register Here

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.    Join Us and Watch Online!  If you have time for a quick and amusing read, check out little nice little interview I did with Sasha at Kreative Circle. https://www.kreativecircle.com/jimmy-mack.html Wednesday August 5th - 4pm ET - Spiritual Insights with host Charlotte Spicer Listen Here Online  - Taking LIVE callers for readings and messages ☎️ (347) 934-0751  

The Jimmy Mack Healing Radio Show

NEW VIDEO FORMAT! WATCH IT LIVE  TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT AS OF NEXT TUESDAY AUGUST 1st  All of the radio shows will be live video shows. You can now write in during the LIVE CHAT with your questions and we'll get to as many as we can (no phone calls) You can watch on Facebook or YouTube links below:   https://facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions   https://www.youtube.com/c/GoldylocksProductions Or catch all the replays & archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/ Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Listen here once posted.

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR AUGUST

August 4th – Joanne Leo | Psychic https://psychicjoanneleo.com/

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

From the Fish Box

"Just receiving emails from you makes my heart swell with love and hope!!!! I feel so blessed to know you!!!  Thank you so much for your prayers and all you do for all of us!" - Rosemary S.

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS ��

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​ ​​Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com